Love At Thousandth Sight
by CM4Always
Summary: Reid never expected to fall for Emily Prentiss, but he did, and there's no turning back. Now he'll have to choose between his head and his heart, which isn't easy... Not even for a genius.
1. Chapter 1

The music was so loud that Reid could barely hear himself think. That is, he was having as much trouble thinking as he could, given the fact that he was a genius with an IQ of 187. Yes, the music was pounding in his ears and rattling his brain, but his intellectual capabilities were still impressive enough to make Einstein look like Bullwinkle J. Moose.

He sat uncomfortably on his side of the booth, slightly squished against the wall by JJ and Garcia, who were drinking and talking animatedly about a topic that Reid couldn't quite make out. Across from him, Hotch and Rossi were sipping their drinks and having one of their man-to-man talks. Morgan was on the dance floor, obscured by a crowd of skimpily-dressed young women who had gathered around him as if the muscly agent were a large hunk of metal and the ladies were magnets.

Reid shook his head in disbelief as he watched his friend shamelessly flirting. He never got over how easy it was for Morgan to attract members of the opposite sex, while he himself couldn't keep them further away if he tried. Sure, there was Lila, but what did that ever amount to? A couple of blissful minutes in a pool and memories that were painful to think about. Then there was Austin, but she was probably a successful magician by now and all he had to remember her by was a lip smack on the back of one of his cards.

Just then, Reid heard a collective male groan from the bar. He looked up, along with the others at his table, to see Emily sauntering past his table, having just left behind the group of men that she had been entertaining. They were the kind of stereotypical males that one can usually find at a bar, armed with their dashing smiles and cheesy pick-up lines. On this particular night, however, it seemed that Emily had been their main target. It wasn't all that surprising, considering the fact that she was wearing her low-cut red blouse. Only a crazy person wouldn't have noticed how stunning she looked.

"Where are you going, Em?" Garcia called out.

"Washroom!" Prentiss replied, stumbling a little over the word and over her feet.

"Whoa, easy," JJ said to her obviously tipsy friend. "How many free drinks have _you_ gotten tonight?"

"Four! No, five! I think…" Emily called over her shoulder. "No more than six, I'm sure of it!"

The two blondes laughed, shaking their heads in amusement. Then they caught eyes, shared a meaningful look, and turned to Reid.

"What about you, Spence?" JJ asked. "How are you doing?"

"Hm? Oh, I'm, uh… I'm fine, thanks," Reid stammered. "Thank you…for asking."

The girls shared another look. This time it was Garcia that spoke to him.

"You sure? Because no offense, but you kinda seem like a stick in the-"

"You don't want a drink or anything?" JJ tactfully interrupted.

"Ooh!" Garcia squealed. "If that's the case, allow me to recommend-"

"I'm fine, really," he insisted. "Actually, I think I need some air. I'm gonna head to the washroom."

"Come on, kid," said Rossi, joining in on the conversation. "Live a little."

Hotch didn't speak, but simply looked fixedly at Reid, a hint of amusement behind his eyes.

"I'll be right back," Reid answered, standing up.

JJ and Garcia shared one more look- this time of pity, it seemed- before making room for Reid to get by. He awkwardly shimmied past them and rushed towards the washroom. As he passed the dance floor, a voice called out to him.

"Pretty Boy! Come get in on the action!"

Reid turned around and held up his hand to Morgan in refusal. The last thing he felt comfortable doing was "getting in on the action". That wasn't his thing and Morgan knew it. Reid was sure Morgan meant well, but in reality, he was just making things worse. Reid turned back, slipped his hands in his pockets, and mulled things over in his mind as he made his way to the men's room.

Besides his mother, who barely counted anyway, his fellow agents were the only people he had in the world. They weren't just his co-workers, they were his best friends, and he loved spending time with them. This, however, was not his ideal night out. He hated being the killjoy, the only one without a drink in his hand, the only one too uncomfortable to dance and flirt with beautiful women, the one his friends teased and looked at with pity. He'd be much more in his element at home with a book or five and a Doctor Who marathon in the television. But then he'd be alone. And being alone scared him more than anything.

At this point, Reid reached the narrow hallway that led to the washrooms and began walking down it. He was lost in his thoughts, so much so that he didn't notice Emily coming towards him, absent-mindedly rummaging through her purse. They promptly bumped into each other, and the contents of the female agent's bag were dumped onto the ground.

"Emily!" Reid exclaimed. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, Reid, don't worry about it," she replied in a light tone. "I didn't see you there."

"That's…Yeah, I… Let me-"

Reid knelt down and began gathering up Emily's things while she continued to fumble around in her bag. Finally, she pulled out a tube of lipstick, carelessly applied it and asked him, "What are you doing back here?"

"Washroom," he answered, standing up and placing a bunch of items that he couldn't identify back in Emily's purse.

"Oh, right," she said, stopping short and shaking her head, as if to dislodge something. "Of course. I'll just let you…"

The sequence of events that followed was quick and cheesy, as if the two of them had temporarily landed in a predictable sitcom. Basically, Reid tried stepping to the left to let Emily get by. Emily, also trying to let Reid pass, accidentally stepped in the same direction. Reid then tried stepping to the right, and sure enough, Emily did the same. Finally, she reached up, grabbed Reid's shoulders, forcefully pushed him against the wall, and squeezed past him, her body rubbing up against his as she did so. Much to Reid's bewilderment, the contact sent a rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins and a shiver up his spine. Her touch was practically electric. It was all he could do not to let out a small gasp as she sidled past him, released his shoulders from her grip, and continued on her way, leaving him dazed against the wall.

Just before she disappeared around the corner, she hesitated for a moment and turned back towards him.

"Are you having a good time tonight?" she asked, almost sounding troubled.

"Uh, yeah," he fibbed, slightly out of breath. "Yes, I am."

"Good," she smiled.

And with that, she turned and was gone.

Reid still had his back against the wall, and his shoulders tingled from where she had put her hands on them. He frowned to himself, confused, reflecting on the implications of what had just happened. It wasn't Emily's behaviour that concerned him- he chalked that up to the "no more than six" free drinks she had received. He was more worried about how he had reacted to being touched by one of his best friends. The only other time he could recall experiencing such an intense feeling was during the Lila Archer case, and he surely didn't feel for Emily Prentiss the way he'd felt for the LA actress. Did he?

Pushing himself from the wall, he strode over to the men's room, yanked the door open and locked it behind him. He needed to breathe. He needed to think. He needed clarity. His mind was spinning with thoughts and images and he couldn't get it to calm down. He told himself he was being ridiculous. He told himself to snap out of it. He told himself that there must be a logical explanation- one that didn't mean that he was attracted to his friend and co-worker. Feeling that way about Prentiss just wasn't an option.

He walked over to the sink and braced his arms on the basin. He needed to collect himself as soon as possible, before the others started to wonder what was taking him so long. With a shaky breath, he looked up into his reflection in the mirror. He gazed deep into his own eyes and tried to assure himself that there was no way he could possibly feel anything for Emily. They were teammates. They were partners. They were friends, best friends even. But that was it. Feeling anything for her beyond that was an impossibility, no matter how great she looked in that red shirt. No matter how shiny her hair was. No matter how mesmerizing the sway of her hips was as she walked down that narrow hallway.

It was then that realization dawned on Spencer Reid.

"Oh, man," Reid groaned. "This is not good."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for reading and reviewing so far, guys! Keep it coming! This is my first fanfic and I will be updating sporadically, so stay tuned… I have exciting stuff planned…**

Spencer Reid had no idea what to do. He felt stuck. He knew that the best thing for him to do was to ignore his newfound feelings for Emily, but it was hard to avoid those feelings without avoiding _her_, which was out of the question. The team was like a bunch of gears working together towards a common purpose. If there was an issue between two of the gears, the rest of the gears would be compromised, and the BAU was one team that could not afford to be compromised. Every time he saw her, however, he couldn't help being transported back to that fateful night. He felt her electric touch, her vice-like grip on his shoulders, her torso dangerously close to his as she slid past him in that narrow hallway…

"Earth to Reid," Morgan said, snapping Reid out of his reverie and back to the paperwork on his desk. "What are you thinking about, genius? You've been staring off into the distance for close to five minutes."

Reid froze up. He knew he was a terrible liar when it came to his personal life. As such, he did not want Morgan getting suspicious. Usually, Reid could confide in him, but this was something he didn't want anybody to know about. He hadn't even mentioned it to his mother in his letters because a tiny part of him was still in denial. He was afraid that admitting how he felt, even on paper, would make it true.

"Hm?" Reid asked, pitiably playing for time.

"I asked you what you were thinking about," repeated Morgan. "Geez, kid, you are really zoned out today."

"He's right," another voice remarked from behind Reid, making his stomach drop. "What's going on with you?"

Things kept getting worse. Morgan questioning Reid's odd behaviour was bad enough, but as Reid spun around in his chair, he saw that Emily herself had gotten up from her desk to join their awkward conversation. Reid stared at her like a deer in the headlights, trying to formulate an intelligent response.

"I'm just…" he began. "I-I-I'm pretty tired, I… I didn't get much sleep last night."

That much was true. Every time he closed his eyes, he was plagued with images of Emily's hips, Emily's hair, the way she looked in that red shirt… He found that the best cure for this was not closing his eyes at all.

"Oh, really?" Emily said, raising her eyebrows and leaning back against Morgan's desk.

"Atta boy!" Morgan grinned, reaching over and punching Reid on the shoulder.

"No, that's not what I meant," Reid objected, turning red. "I had trouble getting to sleep last night, that's all."

"You're blushing, Pretty Boy," Morgan teased. "What are you hiding?"

"Nothing," Reid said indignantly.

"No, it's definitely something," Emily insisted, a smile playing on her lips. "Well, whatever it is, you can't keep it a secret forever. We're profilers, remember?"

"Come on, guys," Reid pleaded, refusing to meet their eyes.

"Okay, chill out," Morgan said. "We were just playin', kid."

Reid let out a frustrated sigh. Morgan might have been playing, but to Reid, this wasn't a game. Without a word, he turned away from his co-workers and opened a thick file in front of him.

"All right," he heard Prentiss say dryly to Morgan. "I'll let you and Dr. Reid here get back to your paperwork and daydreaming, respectively."

Reid stared at the words on the page without seeing them, silently berating himself. He couldn't have done a worse job handling the situation. It was bad enough that he had made a fool out of himself, but now Morgan and Prentiss knew something was up. He was sure that it wouldn't be long before the rest of the team noticed his behaviour and put two and two together. Reid's pathetic lying skills wouldn't stand a chance against the profilers he spent practically all his time with.

Reid was grateful for one thing, however. Either Emily was gifted in the art of handling delicate situations, or she really didn't remember what happened that night. Not that there was much for her to remember, once he thought about it. All she had done was squeeze by him in a hallway. In any case, if she hadn't already made the connection, he didn't think that she would, and that was a big relief. Now if only Morgan would stop the daily pestering.

"I got it," the muscly agent said one day by the coffeemaker. "You met someone."

Reid busied himself by pouring heaps of sugar into his mug.

"Out with it, Reid," Morgan nagged. "What's her name?"

"I didn't meet anybody," Reid said, thankful for the opportunity to tell the slight truth.

That was how most of their conversations went these days, and Reid was sick of it. It seemed like all he ever did was try to convince Morgan that there was no mystery woman in his life. Well, that and one other thing. Recently, he had been acting coldly towards Prentiss. He hadn't been giving her the time of day. It was a defense mechanism, albeit a very painful one. He couldn't stand seeing the hurt and confusion in her eyes every time he snapped at her, ignored her, or shot her comments down. He knew, however, that it was better in the long run to act like he was mad at her than to admit how he felt. In reality, he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and kiss her within an inch of her life (not that he was quite experienced enough to know how to go about that), but seeing as the odds of that happening were ridiculously low, he resorted to uncharacteristic cruelty.

One night, Reid had just finished his work when Rossi walked past his and Morgan's desks.

"How about we all go out for a quick bite?" the older agent offered. "My treat."

"Now that's the best idea I've heard all day," Morgan replied with a grin, throwing his pen onto his desk.

"Yeah, I'm starving," Reid agreed.

"What about you, Emily?" Rossi asked.

Reid's heart sank. He spun around. Sure enough, the brunette had chosen that very moment to walk by. As Rossi invited her to eat with them, Reid knew what he had to do. And he hated himself for it.

Prentiss had barely uttered the words "I'm in" when Reid cut her off.

"Actually, on second thought, I'm feeling kinda tired," he announced. "Thanks for the offer, Rossi, but I'm gonna head home."

There it was again. That look in her eyes. He could hardly bear it. Thankfully, he didn't have to for very long because just then, Hotch jogged down the stairs to the bullpen. He carried a stack of files.

"Nobody's going home," he stated sternly, handing a file to each agent. "I know we're tired, I know it's been a long day, but this can't wait."

"What have we got, Hotch?" Morgan asked.

"A scumbag, that's what we've got," Rossi answered, glancing through the file.

"Let's get started," Hotch ordered, and with that, he headed up to the roundtable room, leaving his disappointed subordinates below.

"I should've known better than to expect a night off," Emily sighed, shooting them all a look before going after Hotch.

Rossi smiled sadly and followed her, leaving Morgan and Reid by themselves.

"You good?" Morgan asked Reid, a mixture of concern and reproach on his face.

"I'm good," Reid affirmed, getting up to join the rest of the team.

Truthfully, he was not good. Truthfully, he was full of dread. How in the world was he going to solve a case and handle Emily at the same time? What if Hotch paired them together? Even worse, what it Emily got hurt at the hands of the UnSub? The danger wasn't there any more than usual, but the idea had never scared him so much. He would never forgive himself if something happened to her, and her last moments with him were ruined by his inexplicable rudeness.

It was these questions and fears that bounced around his brain, so much so that he could barely concentrate on the briefing. Instead, he went on auto-pilot, spouting useful statistics when necessary. He knew he was being unprofessional and that he should try to snap himself out of it. This case was serious business and he needed to put all of his energy into it. His lack of attention wasn't just unfair to the victims, it was unfair to his team. But somehow, he couldn't stop his mind from going places.

On the jet, his distraction was evident.

"Reid, did you hear me?"

Oh, no. That was Hotch.

"I'm sorry?" Reid asked in a small voice.

"Come on, Reid, focus," Hotch chastised him. "When we land, I want you to work on the geographical profiling. See if you can establish a comfort zone."

"Yes, sir," Reid responded, silently rejoicing.

Some time alone with a map would do him good.

**CM BAU CM BAU CM BAU - LATER - CM BAU CM BAU CM BAU - LATER- CM BAU CM BAU CM BAU**

It had been a productive night. After his scolding from Hotch on the jet, Reid had vowed to put all of his attention into the case, which is exactly what he had done. Not only did he find the UnSub's comfort zone, he made a point out of helping all his teammates to the extent that he could. He felt like he was back to his old self. Maybe, once he focused enough, a case was just what he needed to get his mind off of Emily.

The team was making such good progress that Hotch had let them go to the hotel for some rest. Reid was in his room, munching some snacks from his go bag, unable to relax. He was afraid that the moment he stopped thinking about the case, he would sink back into thoughts of Emily, and he couldn't let that happen. Instead, he sat in a lumpy chair and thought about the case, trying to pick up on any small details he might have missed.

He was lost in thought, going over victimology in his head, when a noise from outside his room startled him.

_Knock, knock, knock._

Reid's head snapped up towards the noise. Who was knocking on his door? More importantly, why were they knocking on his door at four in the morning? He couldn't imagine why anybody on the team wouldn't be resting while they could, unless they were as preoccupied by the case as he was. That must be it. It was probably Morgan wanting someone to bounce ideas off of. Then again, it could be JJ with a case-related question. Why it couldn't wait for a couple of hours, he didn't know, but there was only one way to find out. He got up stiffly from his chair and crept to the door.

"Who's there?" he whispered.

"It's me," an unmistakable voice replied, sending a shot of adrenaline coursing through his veins.

Reid's brain told him to ignore her, to make an excuse, to run the other way, anything to keep him from confronting the one person he needed to stay away from. His heart, on the other hand, told him to fling the door open, to explain everything, to beg for her forgiveness, and to kiss her until the sun came up. He decided on a compromise. He opened the door a crack and stuck his head out, trying not to look like the scared little boy he had suddenly become.

And there was Emily. There she was in all her glory, standing right in front of him.

"Hey," she said softly. "Can I come in?"


	3. Chapter 3

Reid said nothing. He was incapable of words. He could only stare stupidly at Emily. She stared back, obviously wondering what was keeping the genius from answering.

"Reid," she repeated. "Can I come in?"

She wanted to come into his hotel room. Emily Prentiss, the woman he had been trying to avoid, wanted to come into his hotel room. What choice did he have? He couldn't exactly slam the door in her face.

"I'm, uh… I'm kinda busy," he tried.

"It'll only take a second."

He hesitated for a moment, finally realizing that he couldn't come up with a good enough excuse.

"Okay," he sighed, opening the door for her.

She gave him a tight-lipped smile and entered his room. As he closed the door behind her, questions filled his brain. What was she doing here? What did she want? Why was he letting her in? Why did it suddenly seem as if he had lost one hundred IQ points? Instead of dwelling on any of these questions, however, he turned to Emily with his hands in his pockets and asked a much more trivial one.

"Do you want to sit down, or…?"

"Sure," she said.

Reid hurried over to the lumpy chair and Emily took a place on the sofa, an incredibly uncomfortable silence growing between them. For a few moments, the only sounds in the room were the loud ticking of the clock on the wall and Reid's lumpy chair settling noisily beneath him. Eventually, Emily spoke up.

"I had a feeling you'd still be awake," she said.

Reid didn't respond. He simply clasped his fingers and stared at the ground.

"I'm having a hard time sleeping, too," she told him. "I can't stop thinking about this case."

Reid gave a slight nod, still not letting himself look up at her.

"What about you?" the beautiful brunette asked. "What's keeping you up?"

This was painful to listen to. Emily was the last person Reid expected small talk from, but here she was, beating around the bush. He was fairly certain that this wasn't the reason she had come.

"Emily, if all you're going to do is talk about our mutual sleeping problems, then-"

"Okay, you're right, I'm sorry."

"Why are you really here?" he demanded, finally mustering up enough courage to look at her.

"I'm worried about you," she said, tilting her head to the side.

"You're worried about me?" he repeated incredulously.

"You haven't been acting like yourself lately, Reid. We've all noticed it."

Reid flinched. So he _had_ been too obvious about it, despite his best intentions.

"Come on," she continued. "Tell me what's going on."

"No offense, Emily, but how is it any of your business?"

"Reid, you are my friend and you are my teammate," she said. "That means trusting each other with our problems."

"No," he countered. "It means knowing when to leave well enough alone."

She leaned back in her chair and sighed, licking her lips. Reid turned his gaze to the floor once again, concentrating on a carpet stain. He loved it when she licked her lips. He wished he could lick her lips, too. The fire burning inside of him was getting harder and harder to ignore and as long as they were in the same room, there was no telling how far it would spread.

"Emily," he said, standing up. "I think you should go."

"Reid, I get that you don't want me to know about it," she raced. "I understand. If I were in your place, I would feel exactly the same way."

Reid froze for a moment and slowly sat back down.

"What are you talking about?" he croaked, his mouth suddenly dry as a bone.

"I'm talking about what you're dealing with," she said softly. "You're afraid of what will happen if I find out. But, Reid, you need to let me help you."

Reid's mind whirled. This was bad.

"You mean… you know?"

"I'm pretty sure, yeah."

Should he apologize? Should he backtrack? Should he give in and kiss her the way he'd been dreaming of doing since the night in the hallway?

"Emily-I-I…" he desperately fumbled for something to say.

"You don't have to say anything," she said. "Just know that you got over this once. You can get over it again."

"I'm sorry, Emily, I can't help it!" he blurted out. "It's just that every time I see you, every time I'm near you…"

A moment too late, Emily's words registered in his brain. His heart stopped.

"Hold on," he whispered. "What did you say? Get over what?"

Emily's brow was furrowed in confusion, her mouth half open.

"W-w-w-wait," she stammered. "You… you finish your sentence first."

"No, what did you mean by 'you got over this once'?" Reid asked, cold dread seeping through his entire body. "What do you think is going on, Emily?"

"I think you're on Dilaudid again," she stated, making Reid's jaw drop halfway to the floor.

"What? No! I'm not on Dilaudid!" Reid exclaimed. "Are you kidding me? No!"

"Well then, what's wrong?" Emily practically shouted in exasperation. "Why have you been acting like a little bastard lately?"

This was it. He knew he couldn't hide the truth from her any longer. It was time to confess everything and hope for the best. He took a deep breath.

"Okay," he started. "Do you remember that night at the bar?"

"Vaguely," Emily scoffed.

"Let me ask you this," he tried again. "_What_ do you remember about that night at the bar?"

"Uh, let's see… I remember arriving," she began. "I remember the flirting and the drinking… I think I went to the washroom at one point."

"Yeah, that's right," he encouraged her. "What do you remember about going to the washroom?"

"Reid..."

"No sorry, that's not what I meant," he squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. "After you went to the washroom, what happened?"

"I, uh… I bumped into you, didn't I?"

"Yes! Quite literally, in fact."

"What about it?" she asked, confusion written across her face.

Great. Now what? How could he continue without humiliating himself? Reid felt his face getting hot.

"Well, you…" he faltered. "We… I guess…"

"Oh, God," she cut him off. "What did I do?"

"Nothing much," Reid assured her. "You just… You pushed me up against a wall, and…"

He looked up at her, silently begging her to clue in.

"Oh," she finally said. "I see."

"I guess I've been trying to lie to myself," Reid continued. "I thought… I thought hiding from my feelings would just make them go away, but I was wrong."

"Reid," she breathed.

And there it was again. That apologetic expression he couldn't stand. But this time, it was coming from her. All of a sudden, something inside him snapped.

"You know what, Emily?" he snapped. "Save it. I don't need your pity, okay? I'm so tired of everyone looking at me like that. 'Poor Spencer. He has no life. He's gonna fall apart at any second.' I almost expect it now from the others, but I thought you were better than that."

Emily stared at him, her eyebrows turned up in a mixture of hurt and surprise. He could've stopped there, but he couldn't control the stream of words flowing from his brain and spilling out of his mouth. His emotional dam had burst and he needed her to listen.

"Look," he went on. "I get that you don't feel the same way. I never expected you to, and even if you did, there's nothing we could do about it. But, Emily, if there's one thing I can't take anymore, it's-"

But Reid didn't get a chance to tell Emily what he couldn't take anymore. All of a sudden, the two of them were standing in the middle of the room, kissing. Reid didn't know how it happened, or who started it. He didn't even remember either of them standing up. All he knew was that her lips were on his, soft, inviting. Her hands were running through his hair, sending delicious tingles all the way down to his feet. His hands were on either side of her waist, pulling her as close to him as possible. He didn't know how he knew exactly what to do, but he did. Kissing Emily Prentiss came as naturally to him as quoting a passage from a book or reciting a complicated statistic. It was as easy as breathing, although it was a lot more exciting.

After a couple of minutes, they stopped for air. Their chests heaving, their foreheads almost touching, they let their eyes travel over each other's faces with a sort of breathless intensity.

"Reid," she whispered.

"I think this might be a good time for you to start calling me Spencer."

"Spencer," she corrected herself. "What are we doing?"

"I don't know."

"Do you care?"

"Not at the moment."

They came together once more for an earth-shattering kiss, and a soft sigh escaped from Emily's lips. Reid gripped her even tighter, as if he was afraid she would disappear. He had no idea where this was leading. He had no idea what to do next. He was in completely new territory. The strangest part was that it didn't seem to matter. As Emily's lips left his and began trailing down his neck, he was perfectly content to live in the moment and see where it took him.

"This is wrong," she said against his skin, her fingers lightly grazing the buttons on his shirt.

"You're right," he agreed, as she slowly began pushing him backwards.

"We should stop," she breathed.

"Probably," he replied, as his back hit the wall.

Her fingers were just slipping under his shirt when simultaneous buzzing sounds brought the two of them back to reality. Their phones. They stopped short and looked at each other, Emily's face painted with shock, Reid's covered with disappointment.

"That's gotta be Hotch," Emily spoke.

Reid nodded, not trusting his voice. She took her phone out of her pocket and walked away from him, leaving him hot and bothered against a wall for the second time.

"Well?" Reid squeaked after a few moments.

"It's time to go back in," Emily answered, snapping her phone shut and turning towards him. "I'm sorry, Reid."

"For what?"

"For what just happened. It was a bad idea and I shouldn't have gotten carried away like that."

Reid couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Wait, what?"

"You heard me, Reid. Things went further than they should have and I take full responsibility."

"Full responsibility? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Reid, we could get in a lot of trouble for what we just did. The best thing for us to do now is to pretend it never happened."

"I can't do that, Emily!" Reid protested. "I have an eidetic memory. Even if I wanted to forget, I wouldn't be able to."

"Reid-" she started, but he wouldn't let her finish.

"No," he said. "You don't get to do that. I tried stifling my feelings for weeks because I was afraid they'd be unrequited. Because I didn't want to be unprofessional. You can't just come to my room, kiss me, give me a small glimmer of hope and then snatch it away again!"

"I know it's not fair to you, Reid," Emily replied. "I admit that, and I apologize for it. But I won't let you hold me forever accountable for one error in judgement."

Her words hit him hard, like a punch to the gut. He went silent for a few moments, collecting himself.

"An error in judgement?" he eventually got out. "You call what we just did 'an error in judgement'?"

"Well, what would you call it?"

"Oh, I don't know, something that doesn't make it sound like kissing me is comparable to making a bad decision out on the field."

"I told you we should stop."

"Yeah, well, we didn't, did we?" Reid shot back. "If Hotch hadn't sent that text, we'd be…"

He couldn't make himself say the words. Was he that much of a prude? Was it even possible for him to bring up physical matters with Emily without stuttering or turning red?

"Well, thank God for Hotch," was her final comment before she whirled around and strode out the door.

Reid stood alone in his room, hardly able to believe what had just happened. For a few golden moments, his dreams had come true. Then, just as quickly, they were dashed to pieces. Should he give up hope? Should he be angry at Emily for playing with his emotions? Should he be grateful for the short time they spent together? He hadn't a clue. All he knew was that the team was waiting for him. Although he wanted nothing more than to throw himself on his bed and have a good cry, he picked up his bag, threw on a scarf, and left his hotel room. One thing was for certain. Solving this case was not going to be pleasant.


	4. Chapter 4

Reid was right. Solving the case wasn't pleasant in the slightest. The tension between him and Emily was so thick you could cut it with a knife. On the job, they talked when they needed to, but beyond the necessary interactions, they avoided each other as much as possible. And this time, both of them knew why. Luckily, their personal problems didn't affect the team. As usual, they found the UnSub at the last minute, saving someone's life in the process. For this, Reid was extremely grateful. He wouldn't have been able to live with himself if his and Emily's issues had compromised the team's ability to solve the case.

On the jet back home, everyone chatted happily, save Reid and Emily. He sat with his nose in a book, not taking in any of the words, but flipping the page every few seconds to give the illusion that he was reading. She stared out the window, biting her nails down to the quick. Every now and then, their eyes would accidentally meet, making Reid sick to his stomach. So much was hidden in those short glances. There were so many things written in those chocolate eyes of hers.

He hated that things had to be like this. The worst part was thinking about the way things used to be, before he knew how he felt about her, before she made her "error in judgement". Sure, things hadn't always been perfect between them, especially after the Tobias Hankel incident, but whenever things went badly, the two of them had a way of working it out. He wondered how long it would take to work _this _out.

Just then, Rossi's voice broke through Reid's thoughts.

"So," he said. "Anyone up for that meal?"

"Oh, you _know_ I am!" Morgan smiled.

"As am I!" Garcia chimed in from her computer screen.

"What meal?" JJ wanted to know.

"Rossi was just about to take us out for a bite when we got this case," Morgan explained.

"How about it?" Rossi asked JJ.

"Sounds good to me!" she answered.

"Aaron?" Rossi turned to Hotch, his eyebrows raised expectantly.

"I would, Dave, but Jack's waiting for me to tuck him in at home."

"Fair enough. Reid? Emily? You two in?"

Reid and Emily's heads shot up in unison, their eyes as wide as dinner plates. A meal with the team? They couldn't both go. But it didn't make sense for both of them to opt out, either. In any case, Reid wasn't really in the mood for another humiliating night out.

"Maybe next time, guys," he declined. "I'm pretty beat."

That was that. Emily would go out with the team, Reid would head home, and everyone would be better off. But then, Emily said something that surprised him.

"So am I. Thanks for the offer, Rossi, but I think I'm just gonna stay in with Sergio tonight."

Reid narrowed his eyes in confusion. What was that about? When Rossi had first offered to take them out for dinner, she had agreed in a flash. Why change her mind now? Thoughts started to bounce around in his head. Did her sudden refusal have something do to with him? He couldn't imagine why. He had backed out on dinner just so that she would feel comfortable enough to go. Didn't she realize that? Then again, she might have been telling the truth. In all probability, she was just exhausted after the case and couldn't handle the idea of one more late night. It probably wasn't about Reid at all. And when that thought crossed his mind, an unexpected sensation washed over him. Disappointment? Jealousy? He wanted her to be jumbled up on the inside, like him, but maybe she just didn't feel that way. Maybe he had been projecting his own feelings onto her and creating false tension between them. Maybe she had completely forgotten about the night in the hotel room. He had assumed that their kiss, however brief, had been significant, but the more Reid thought about it, the clearer it became. Kissing Spencer Reid might have been one of the most _insignificant_ things ever to happen to her.

At first, Reid was afraid that Emily had declined Rossi's invitation because of him. In the time it took for him to get home, however, he had convinced himself that Emily wasn't thinking about him at all. He wasn't sure which was worse. He felt miserable about the whole situation and every time he tried to think things through, his head throbbed and his stomach tightened up. He wasn't used to being so lost in his own mind. He yearned for either complete clarity or complete escape, and clarity didn't seem like it was going to make an appearance anytime soon.

As Reid walked in the door, he noticed something flashing out of the corner of his eye. He turned to see a light blinking on his phone cradle. Someone had left him a message on the answering machine. He closed and locked the door behind him, wondering who it could be from. Hardly anyone ever called him.

He put his bags down in the entryway and went to brew himself a pot of coffee, trying to ignore the flashing light. He didn't know why, but he had a bad feeling about it. The flashing light refused to be ignored, however, and Reid's patience didn't last very long. After a couple of minutes, the constant blink got the better of him. He strode over to the phone and dialled the answering machine.

"You have one new message," the mechanic female voice informed him. "To review your messages, press one."

Reid did so. Immediately, a voice he knew all too well filled his ears. His heart sank.

"Hello, Dr. Reid? This is Dr. Norman from the Bennington Sanitarium. I'm calling to inform you of some incidents that have occurred recently. Your mother… well, she's been acting out. More than usual. I'm afraid her health is deteriorating, Dr. Reid, and it's getting harder to deal with her outbursts. If her behaviour continues, you might have to think about moving her to a different facility- one that would be better equipped to handle her condition. Feel free to call me back if you have any questions."

Reid stood fixed to the spot, still holding the phone to his ear.

"End of message. To delete this message, press seven. To reply to it, press eight. To save it, press nine," the lady said.

Reid did nothing. He just stayed where he was, in sheer disbelief. His mother had been at Bennington for over ten years. All of a sudden, they were no longer able to handle her condition? How badly was her health deteriorating for them to make such a call?

"Are you still there?" the lady persisted. "To delete this message, press seven. To reply to it, press—"

Reid slammed the phone down furiously. Then, trying to calm himself down, he took a deep breath. His thumb found its way to his mouth, where he began to absent-mindedly gnaw on it. He rocked back and forth on his heels, weighing his options. There was one notion that wouldn't leave his mind. Every thought led back to it. Ever since Emily had mentioned it in his hotel room, the idea had been lurking around in the back of his brain, tempting him. He had tried putting it off for as long as he could, but at this point, he knew that it was inevitable. This was the last straw and he was tired of ignoring his impulses.

In what seemed like five seconds, Reid flew to his bedroom, dropped to his knees in front of his desk, opened the middle drawer and pried out the false bottom. And there it was. One single glass vial and a syringe lying beside it, just waiting to be used. Reid hesitated for a moment, staring at the Dilaudid, before scooping it out of the drawer and holding it in his trembling hands.

_Ring, ring, ring!_

Suddenly, Reid's cell began to buzz in his pocket, making him jump and drop his Dilaudid. When he realized that the noise was coming from his phone, he considered not answering it for a moment. Then, fearing that the call could be important, he took out his phone and pressed 'Talk'.

"Hello?"

"Reid?" a voice practically screamed on the other end, making Reid jump once again.

"Hello?" Reid repeated. "Garcia, is that you?"

"The one and only!" she replied. "Reid, what is this nonsense about you being too tired to go out for a nice meal with your fellow agents?"

"Garcia, I—I'm just not feeling up to it. I'm sure you're having a good time without me."

"Oh, we are," she assured him. "But it's not too late to join us! The fun's just getting started!"

"If I were to join you, I'm fairly certain that I'd just be a stick in the mud again," Reid began. "Like the night at the—"

Suddenly a thought struck Reid.

"You know what, Garcia?" he said. "I have to go. But thanks for calling."

"Okay, but—"

Reid hung up before she could finish her sentence. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and picked up the Dilaudid again. He knew exactly what he wanted to do. His plan was dangerous and it was self-destructive. Therefore, it was perfect. The way he saw it, he didn't have much to lose. The woman of his dreams wanted nothing to do with him and his mother's health was going down the tubes. He might as well push his own boundaries and see how far he could go. He was sick of being the socially-awkward genius that everyone felt sorry for. He needed do something completely out of character just to see if he was capable.

He crossed the room to sit on the edge of his bed. His heart pounding, he unscrewed the top of the glass vial and pushed the syringe into its contents, extracting as much of the drug as he could. He then took the syringe out of the bottle and positioned it over his right forearm. Taking a shaky breath, he eased the tip of the needle inside his arm, moved his hand to the top of the syringe and pushed down. Instantly, his eyes snapped shut and his head snapped back. He couldn't help but let out a gasp as he felt the drugs coarse through his veins. There was the release he had been searching for. There was the escape he had been longing for. He couldn't believe that he had spent so long resisting his cravings. What was the point? Everything would always end up right back here. This was where everything was. He was the centre of his own universe. Nothing else existed.

And he wasn't done yet. The worst was still to come.

**CM BAU CM BAU CM BAU - LATER - CM BAU CM BAU CM BAU - LATER- CM BAU CM BAU CM BAU**

Twenty minutes later, Reid arrived at the bar. It was the same bar he had gone to with the team on that fateful night. Tonight, however, he predicted that things would be different. It probably had something to do with the fact that he was high out of his mind. He wasn't quite sure.

Once inside, the first thing he did was approach the bartender. She was young, maybe in her mid-twenties, and very beautiful. Between the lights in the bar and Reid's drug-addled vision, her hair seemed to sparkle with tiny gold flecks. When she saw him, she pulled her lips back in a huge smile. It seemed like she was swaying back and forth. Or maybe Reid was swaying back and forth- he couldn't tell.

"What can I get for you, sugar?" she asked sweetly.

"I'll have… I'll, uh… What do you recommend?" he spluttered.

"Well, that entirely depends on what you're looking for," she winked at him.

"Anything," Reid said.

"Ooh, bartender's choice," she squealed, pouring numerous liquids into a glass and sliding it over to him. "Here you go, honeybun. My favourite."

"What is it?" Reid asked, taking a sip.

"Sex on the Beach," the bartender replied.

"Excuse me?"

"The drink," she chuckled. "That's its name."

"Oh. Do you have anything stronger?"

"Of course, darling," she said obligingly. "Why don't I take the Sex on the Beach, and you take a Dirty Martini?"

Reid nodded his approval as the bartender began to pour a different assortment of liquids into another glass.

"My name's Randi, by the way," she said, giving Reid his drink.

"I'm Spencer," he replied. "Spencer— Just Spencer."

"Well, how's your drink, Just Spencer?"

Reid looked at Randi for a moment, picked up his Dirty Martini, and gulped it back in one go. He embraced the sharp taste, wincing as he swallowed.

"Wow!" he exclaimed, shaking his head violently. "It's—Wow. It's perfect. Can I have another?"

Randi looked at him, wide-eyed. Then she gave a little shrug and began pouring once again.

"Whatever you want, sweet-cheeks," she crooned. "Just don't overdo it."

Reid wasn't quite sure what he was trying to accomplish. He knew that this was one of the stupidest things he'd ever done, but this wasn't just about trying to be stupid. It was more about doing something without thinking about what the outcome would be. It was about forgetting his oh-so-many inhibitions. It was about letting go. And as he gulped back drink after drink, he certainly seemed to be accomplishing that.

After his fourth or fifth Dirty Martini, Randi refused to pour him another.

"That's enough, babe," she insisted. "Look at you. You look pretty bad."

She was right. And Reid felt about as bad as he looked. His head was pounding, his stomach was churning and his veins were being charged with a mixture of blood, Dilaudid and alcohol. But he didn't want to stop. He wasn't done yet.

"No, I—" he objected slushily. "I need another. Just one more, please."

"I'm sorry, Spencer," she shook her head. "You're about to fall right over. I can't keep on serving you in your condition. You want me to call you a cab or something?"

Reid tried to respond, but his tongue wouldn't work. He felt as if it had swollen up to fill his entire mouth. All he could get out were a series of whimpers.

"Spencer?" Randi sounded nervous. "Spencer, what's going on?"

As he looked at her, trying and failing to communicate, her golden hair began to fade to black. As a matter of fact, everything started to fade to black. The light began to swirl around him as it disappeared to almost nothing. He felt air swallow him up and push him backwards. Something hit his back forcefully and his breath left him. He didn't know if it would ever come back.

"Spencer!" he heard Randi yelling. "Spencer!"

"It's okay," he heard another voice say. "It's fine, I've got him."

"You…him?"

"I…together…we…"

"Will…okay…"

The voices began to die away so that Reid could only hear snippets of the conversation they were having. He was certain that he'd heard the second voice somewhere before. He just couldn't place it. Maybe another Reid had heard the voice, in another life. In a desperate attempt to figure out who it was, he wrenched his eyes open as best he could. Above him, he saw a glowing figure. Some sort of angel? He wasn't sure. There was light all around her, flooding his vision, blinding him. Just as he was no longer able to keep his gaze on the shimmering outline, he felt a soft hand on his cheek.

"Stay awake, Reid," the figure said, his ears distorting her voice. "Whatever you do, try to stay awake."

It was at this moment that Reid slipped into the darkness once again. No sound, no light, no feeling. There was nothing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi everyone! This is me crawling back out from under my rock! I know it's been ages since I posted the last chapter, but seeing as I'm just finishing up Grade 10, things are getting heavy. I promise that I haven't forgotten about this fic and I promise that as soon as school is over, I will update more regularly! Thanks for sticking with me and my story… Five chapters down, five chapters to go!**

It could have lasted seconds. It could have lasted years. Time was all the same to Reid. As far as he could tell, nothing existed anymore. He was in limbo, between what was familiar and what was frightening. He saw nothing but an unsettling combination of darkness and light, and all he knew was sharp pain. Sharp pain where he supposed his eyes ought to have been. Sharp pain around what he vaguely remembered as his head. He faded in and out, upsetting memories darting around his mind. His gut told him to fight the darkness, to find something to hold on to. Though he couldn't remember why he should, that was what he did. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, the fog settled and the darkness receded. He had won.

"Reid?" a voice cut through his murky consciousness.

Who was that? Reid's ears warped the voice beyond recognition, making it impossible for him to place it. It was impossible for him to place anything, as a matter of fact. Lying down with his eyes closed, Reid realized that he had no idea where he was or what was going on. He tried wrenching his eyes open, but the strain and the brightness was too much for him, so he shut them once again. Instead, he opened his mouth to speak, but it felt as if someone had filled it with cotton balls. All he could do was croak.

"Oh, God," he heard the voice say. "Reid, can you hear me?"

Incapable of responding otherwise, Reid lowered his chin slightly in what he hoped would be recognized as a nod.

"Good," the voice whispered. "Now listen, Reid. I've got some water for you here, okay? I want you to drink it."

Water. Reid's body filled with relief at the mere mention of the word. Eager to feel the cool liquid running down his arid throat, Reid hiked himself up to take a sip. Just as quickly, however, dizziness overcame him, making his head throb with an unparalleled intensity. He flopped back down with a groan.

"Woah, easy," cautioned the voice. "Here, I'll bring the glass to you."

The next thing Reid knew, someone's hand was behind his head, and a glass was being pressed gently against his lips. Water poured slowly into Reid's open mouth and he sipped it gratefully, the cotton balls in his mouth and throat dissolving with each swallow. And then, as he gulped back the last drop, a dam suddenly broke inside him and unexpected memories came surging through his mind. Memories of the night before. Memories of the syringe and the long-awaited release that came with it. Memories of the drinks. Memories of the way everything turned black. Memories of voices, one of them much like the voice that was speaking to him now.

"There you go," it said, taking the glass away.

Could it be the same voice? And if so, did it belong to the angelic figure he had seen looming over him at the bar? Who was she? Reid had to find out. Bracing himself, he turned his head stiffly towards the sound of the voice and opened his eyes once again. The first thing he noticed was that he was in his bedroom. The second thing he noticed was a person sitting in a chair beside him. As his eyes tried to focus, he made out the face of a woman, a head of dark brown hair… No. There was no way. It couldn't be.

"Emily?" he said in disbelief.

"Now he speaks," she replied. "You had me worried for a while. I wasn't sure when you'd wake up."

"Why… How did you…"

"Hey, slow down," Emily breathed. "Why don't you tell me what you were doing unconscious at a bar in the early hours of the morning?"

"It _was_ you."

"What do you mean?"

"I saw someone standing over me before I… I mean… You're the one I saw."

Emily nodded to herself. Then, she leaned forward in her chair, her hands clasped in her lap. She looked straight at Reid, her eyes boring into him.

"What were you thinking?" she asked quietly.

Reid didn't know how to answer that question. Unable to meet her drill-like gaze, he sighed and turned his head back to the ceiling.

"I guess…" he began. "I guess I was thinking that I didn't want to think anymore."

"Why?"

"It's complicated."

"I've got time."

"Then why don't you start?" Reid challenged, turning back to her. "What happened last night?"

They stared at each other for one long moment. Then, Emily took a deep breath and opened her mouth. Just as quickly, she closed it again. She hesitated for a moment and looked down at the floor. Reid simply looked at her, patiently waiting for an explanation.

"I don't know where to begin," Emily finally got out.

"How about with how you happened to show up at the bar last night?"

"Well, I was going drinking, Reid," Emily said defensively. "That much should be obvious. I arrived at the bar in time to see you falling backwards out of your stool."

"You were going out drinking by yourself?" Reid asked incredulously.

"You're judging _me_?" Emily deadpanned.

"You said you were staying home with Sergio."

"I know what I said, Reid. I lied."

"Why?"

"Would _you_ want the rest of the team knowing that you'd rather get drunk alone than go out to dinner with them?"

Reid looked away shamefacedly.

"Anyway," Emily continued. "When I realized what had happened, I took you back here. I've been waiting for you to wake up for the past couple of hours."

"You didn't take me to the hospital?"

"You weren't doing _that _badly," Emily said. "I figured you'd just had one too many drinks and you needed to sleep it off."

"Right," Reid agreed, realizing that Emily knew nothing about the Dilaudid. "Well, thank you, Emily. Thanks for looking after me."

"Well, of course, Reid. What else would I have done? Left you there unconscious?"

"No, I'm just…" Reid faltered. "I don't understand. One minute you feel sorry for me, the next you kiss me. Then, just as suddenly, you want nothing to do with me. Now, you're in my house, taking care of me. I'm a bit confused as to what your intentions are, Emily."

"Reid, _I_ barely know what my intentions are. Don't expect meto enlighten you."

"Try," Reid said, staring intensely at her.

He felt a bit uncomfortable, as if their roles were suddenly reversed, but he wasn't going to let her back down now. He needed to know the truth, however reluctant she was to give it to him. And if the beseeching look on her face was any indication, she was pretty reluctant. After a few moments, however, the look on her face turned to one of resentful acceptance, and she sat back in her chair. She narrowed her eyes at the wall behind him, as if she were trying carefully to choose her words.

"I guess it started that night in your hotel room," she eventually said. "When you told me how you felt and then snapped at me for pitying you."

"I remember what happened, Emily," Reid said sharply.

"I'm not suggesting that you don't," she assured him.

"What are you suggesting, then?"

"I'm trying to tell you that I never pitied you, Reid. Not for a second."

"No?"

"No. Anything but. Your confession actually… Well, it brought some things to light for me. Some things that I previously hadn't been able to admit to myself."

"What do you mean?" Reid asked, shaking his head at her in confusion.

"God, Reid! For a genius, you sure need a lot of things spelled out for you!"

Reid raised his eyebrows at Emily, who rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"What is this about?" Reid urged her.

"This is about what happened between us that night. I might not have fully realized it until that moment," she said slowly. "But your feelings weren't unreciprocated."

Silence fell between the two of them. Reid gawked at Emily, unable to say a word. Half of him didn't even believe that he had heard her correctly.

"Wow," he finally said. "I mean, your use of a double negative begs the question, but… Wow."

Emily shot him the sarcastic look that only she could pull off.

"I spill my guts to you and that's your response?" she retorted.

"Well, what am I supposed to say?" Reid asked. "I'm overjoyed, but you still haven't explained your behaviour afterwards."

"Do I really have to explain my behaviour to a behavioural analyst?"

"Emily, you know I can't be objective when it comes to…this," Reid said. "I really don't get it. After you got that text from Hotch, it was like you couldn't get away from me fast enough."

"I know, Reid," Emily sighed. "And I'm sorry."

"So why did you do it?"

Here, Emily took the longest pause of all.

"I was scared," she said at last.

"You were scared?" Reid asked in astonishment.

"Yes," she admitted. "Look. You came clean about your feelings. The fact that you did that finally allowed me to acknowledge mine, but I still had no idea what to do about them."

"So you kissed me?"

"I knew it was a bad idea, but it's not like I could help it," Emily defended herself. "I don't think you're aware of how attractive you are when you're pissed."

Reid's face flushed and he looked away.

"Hotch's text brought me back to reality," Emily continued. "I realized the significance of what we had done, and yes, I got scared. So I tried to brush things off and forget about it. Playing with your feelings like that made me sick, believe me, but I didn't want to be distracted or unprofessional."

"That's how I felt," Reid interjected.

"Well, I understand now," Emily said. "Except it didn't work. Every time I saw you, I thought about what happened between us and I hated myself. That's why I decided to go drinking alone. I wanted to forget. Instead, however, I managed to run into the one person I was trying to get away from."

"It's remarkable," Reid commented.

"What is?"

"The parallels in our emotions regarding our feelings for each other. That, and the way we chose to deal with them."

"Yeah," Emily said with a small smile, looking down at her hands in an unusually shy fashion.

"If we had communicated with each other in the first instance, none of this would have happened."

"You're right. I was wrong to try and distance us, Reid, and I'm sorry. We've always been able to communicate with each other, and that shouldn't have changed. We don't need to resort to drinking away our troubles."

At this, Reid looked away. What she was saying was true. Emily had always been the one that Reid felt most comfortable talking to about personal matters. She didn't treat him like a child, as some of the other agents did. She listened to him when he needed to be listened to and gave him advice when necessary. She had always been there for him and it was unfair of him to keep secrets from her now. Emily deserved to know the whole truth. He owed it to her.

"There's something you don't know," he mumbled. "It's about what happened last night."

Emily seemed surprised.

"What is it?" she asked softly.

"I went to the bar for another reason," Reid confessed. "I mean, you were a big part of it, but something else happened as well."

"I'm listening."

Reid took a deep breath.

"It's my mom," he said. "Dr. Norman called last night from the Bennington Sanitarium. Apparently, she's been acting out lately, worse than usual, and I might have to find another place for her to live."

Emily looked at him, compassion written all over her face.

"Reid, I'm so sorry. If there's anything I can do—"

"That's not all," Reid interrupted. "When I found out, I… Emily, you have to understand that I was already upset because of what was going on between us, and getting Dr. Norman's message was just… I couldn't…"

Emily's expression quickly turned from compassion to worry.

"What happened, Reid?" she pressed him. "What did you do?"

"I took Dilaudid."

Emily's eyes widened in horror.

"Reid…" she breathed.

"I know it was a bad idea, Emily, but I was feeling destructive and I wanted to see… I wanted to see how far I could go. But it won't happen again. I won't let it. I won't let it get that far again, because…"

Reid tried to finish his sentence, but the words wouldn't come. Even if they had, he wouldn't have known what to say. He was too overwhelmed to speak. As Emily stood up and walked over to him, however, he realized that he didn't need to speak. As she bent over and kissed him softly on the mouth, he realized that sometimes, words weren't necessary. And as she nestled in beside him on the bed, laying her head upon his chest, he realized that actions expressed things that words couldn't. It was unspoken, but clear as day nonetheless. Everything would be okay. He had Emily Prentiss to comfort him now. Nothing else mattered.


	6. Chapter 6

**I apologize once again for not having updated in such a long time! Last time, my excuse was school. This time, my excuse is a finicky computer and the fact that I have been either rehearsing or performing two different plays for the last couple of months. Next time I write a fanfic, I will write the entire thing before posting so as to avoid this stressful situation! Thanks for your patience! Please read and review!**

In the morning, Reid was awakened by a soft voice in his ear.

"Reid? Reid, it's time to get up."

He lay in darkness for a moment, bracing himself. His head pounded and his stomach churned from the events of the previous night, and he knew that this day would not be easy. But then he realized that the voice in his ear belonged to somebody. Emily. He felt the warmth of her body against his, felt their hands clasped together. Her presence gave him the strength he needed to pry his eyes open. With some effort, he shifted his head to one side and there she was, smiling at him. Despite the physical pain he was in, Reid couldn't help but smile back as he remembered their night together. They had spoken their truths, and they had slept, cozied up for a few heavenly hours. She had turned his drug-addled nightmare into a dream come true.

"Good morning," Reid said groggily.

"Yeah, right," Emily laughed.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on, Reid. I've been in your situation far too many times to believe that you are having a good morning."

Well, she was nothing if not intuitive.

"I've had better," Reid admitted.

"That's more like it," Emily said, tilting her head up and giving Reid a kiss that made his chest pound almost as hard as his head. After a few seconds, she pulled away. "Hey, where do you keep your coffee?"

"Coffee?" Reid asked, confused as to how they had bounced from hot kisses to hot beverages.

"Yes, coffee. Where do you keep it? I'll make us a pot."

"Can't coffee wait?"

"Not really. We need to leave for work soon," she reminded him.

Reid's heart sank.

"Oh, right," he said. "Work. Of course."

What with everything that had happened, Reid's job had completely slipped his mind. Going to work ruined his plans for a quiet day of recovery with Emily and caused a whole slew of problems to come to mind.

"Will I be able to find everything I need in the kitchen?" Emily asked him, interrupting his thoughts.

"Wait," Reid said, dolefully letting go of her hand and getting out of bed. "Um, how do you wanna…go about this?"

"Well, Reid, as long as you have the right ingredients and the necessary equipment, I don't see what the—"

"No, no, I'm not talking about coffee. I'm talking about going to work. How do we show up without causing suspicion?" he explained. "I-I mean, I can easily change my clothes, but you're wearing the same thing you wore yesterday, which might seem a bit… a bit weird."

"I have a change of clothes outside in my car," Emily assured him. "I'll make coffee and get changed, and then I'll drive us in. Ooh, that reminds me- would you mind if I used your shower?"

"W-w-wait, are you sure we should go in together? Yes, it would be more convenient, but it's probably not a good idea to get there at exactly the same time…right?"

"Reid, relax!" Emily laughed. "Nobody will see us arriving together and even if they do, they won't think anything of it."

"Really, Emily? What would _you_ think if the only two people who didn't go out the night before came into work together the next morning?"

"I'd think, 'Wow, they must be doing it!'"

Reid's eyes grew wide with panic.

"Reid, I'm kidding!" Emily said incredulously.

Reid's eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Look," Emily continued, giving up. "If you're that concerned about it, I'll drive and you can take the metro. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but—"

"No, Emily, I, uh… You have more experience with these types of situations, right?"

"I guess you could say that."

"Okay, then. I trust you. We can drive in together."

"Great," Emily said, gently wrapping her arms around Reid's neck and giving him a quick peck. She smiled at him, her dimples as prominent as ever. Reid loved Emily's dimples. In his opinion, they were one of the most endearing things about her. They were visible whenever she smiled, whenever she licked her lips, or bit them, for that matter. They made him think of what she must have looked like as a small child, before the demands of her mother's career, and eventually her own, had hardened her. Those dimples showed another side of her- a younger, carefree side that she probably didn't let out as often as she should.

"You're so beautiful," he couldn't help but say.

With that, a sudden silence fell. The two of them stared at each other, Emily looking almost taken-aback. Reid immediately began to second-guess what he had said. When was he going to learn to keep his mouth shut? Why did he have to say something so significant and meaningful when he barely knew what was going on between the two of them? Yes, they had talked about their feelings and they had kissed a few times, but what did that mean? Were they "a couple"? Were they "in a relationship"? The term "boyfriend and girlfriend" seemed so juvenile. And there she was, just staring at him with that look of shock, her arms still around his neck. He didn't know what to do or what to say.

"I'm sorry, was that…?" he began. "Should I not have—?"

"No, Reid, don't apologize!" she interrupted, shaking her head, her brow furrowed. "That was… sweet. It's been a while since anyone's said something like that to me."

"Then what's wrong?" Reid asked, sensing there was more to her reaction than she would have him believe.

"Nothing, it just…" Emily said, looking down in amazement. "It hit me again, that's all."

"What?"

"This. What we're doing. If someone had told me when we first met that _this _would be happening between us one day, I would not have believed them."

_This_, she said. _What we're doing_, she said. What _was_ this? What _were_ they doing? Reid couldn't stay in the dark any longer. He had to ask.

"Emily, can you clarify something for me?"

"Anything," she said softly.

"What… What's going on between us? I mean, this is something, right? You said it yourself."

Emily nodded at him, surprised.

"Well, what is it? What are we?" Reid asked.

Emily looked at him blankly, obviously at a loss for words.

"We're…" she stammered. "Together."

"Together?" Reid repeated.

At that moment, a buzzing noise coming from Emily's pocket distracted them from their conversation. She pulled her phone out and looked at the screen.

"It's JJ," Emily hissed, pressing a finger urgently to her lips as she answered the call.

Reid mimicked her gesture and nodded briskly to indicate understanding. He then began to tiptoe over to his bureau to pick out a change of clothes.

"Hey, JJ," Emily said. "Yup, I'm just getting ready to go. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Suddenly, Reid stepped on something sharp, causing him to gasp in pain. He jerked his foot back up to reveal the empty syringe, still on the carpet where he had dropped it after having used it the night before. Flashes of ugly memories coursed through him, exacerbating his already-throbbing head and his ever-turning stomach. Feeling sick, he slumped to the ground.

"Bye, JJ," Emily said quickly, hanging up and rushing over to him. "Reid, what's wrong?"

Reid gestured half-heartedly at the syringe. Emily followed his gesture and after a moment, her eyes flashed with comprehension.

"Reid-"

"I just left it there. It was there the whole time."

"Reid, it's-"

Right on cue, Reid's phone went off. With shaking hands, he got it out from his pocket and pressed talk.

"Hello?"

"Spence, it's JJ," said the voice on the other end of the line.

"Hey," Reid answered. "Hi, JJ."

He shared a quick look with Emily, who gave him a tight-lipped smile, picked up the syringe and left the room.

"I know you're probably getting ready to leave right now," JJ continued. "But I thought I should let you know that there's a case waiting for us as soon as everyone gets in. The sooner you can get here, the better."

Reid shut his eyes in frustration. This must've been what Emily's call was about.

"Thanks, JJ. We'll-" Reid began. "Ahem, _I'll _be there soon."

"Okay. See you in a little while."

"Bye," Reid said, hanging up.

By then, Emily had quietly made her way back into Reid's room and was standing in the doorway. He looked up at her with shame.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Hey," she replied, shaking her head at him. "There's absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You made a mistake last night, but it won't happen again. It doesn't have to."

"What did you do with the-?"

"It doesn't matter. It's gone. You don't have to think about it anymore."

Reid looked down at the floor, tears threatening to well up in his eyes.

"Thank you," he said.

Emily simply walked over and sat down beside him, grabbing his hand. She peppered his knuckles with kisses. Reid responded by slipping his hand into her hair and pulling her into a kiss of a more lingering sort. When they finally pulled apart, they gazed deeply into each other's eyes, each one breathing the other in. In that moment, Reid knew that what they had was not at all juvenile. Emily's eyes held too much love, respect and support for their relationship to be anything but genuine. However random and rushed it might have seemed, it was real.

"The team needs us," Emily gently reminded him. "We should go."

"Coffee first," Reid said.

"Coffee first," she agreed.

**BREAK**

The drive to work was remarkably relaxing. Their demons having been laid out on the table and coffee having been ingested, Emily and Reid were able to simply talk to each other, which was something they had recently been incapable of doing. Reid didn't completely feel like himself yet, but the discussion was satisfying and the coffee was hitting the spot. Things could have been worse.

Eventually, the two of them arrived at headquarters. Despite Reid telling her that she should park a couple of blocks away so as not to attract suspicion, Emily parked the car in her usual spot. Then, with a slight stumble on his part, they got out of the car and headed towards the building. No sooner had they reached it, however, than they heard someone calling out behind them.

"Reid! Prentiss! Wait up!" the voice shouted.

The two agents turned around to see Morgan about a hundred meters away, waving as he walked towards them.

"Shit," Emily said.

"What do we do?" Reid asked, his eyes wide.

"Just… act natural."

"That's easier said than done."

Morgan was getting closer and Reid had the feeling that both he and Emily looked suspiciously like kindergarteners that had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Emily turned to him, sensing his concern.

"Reid, he won't profile us unless he thinks there's something worth profiling."

"Something worth profiling? I can barely stand up without help right now. You don't think that's worth profiling?"

"If you act calm," Emily said slowly. "Everything will be fine."

"Hey, you two!" Morgan said, finally reaching them. "What's the deal? You guys are driving in together now?"

Great. Right off the bat, Morgan was asking the wrong questions. Reid tried to keep Emily's advice in mind, but it's very hard for one to act natural when one is having a minor panic attack.

"Driving in together? No!" Reid blurted out. "No, we just happened to arrive at the same time, that's all."

"In the same car?" Morgan asked, raising his eyebrows.

Reid opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. He looked at Emily for help. She looked back at him in exasperation.

"Yes," Emily began. "I was a couple blocks from here and I saw Reid walking, so I picked him up and drove him the rest of the way."

Morgan raised one eyebrow skeptically at Emily. He then shifted his gaze to Reid, giving him a once-over.

"Everything all right with you, kid?" he asked. "You don't look too good."

"I'm fine," Reid said. "I'm just tired."

"Oh, I see," Morgan said with a grin. "Didn't get much sleep last night, huh?"

"How was dinner?" Reid asked, desperately trying to change the subject.

"It was great! You guys missed a good time," Morgan replied. "But, hey… For all I know, you _had _a good time."

And with that, he walked past them and into the building, leaving them standing there, gobsmacked.

"Did he mean…?" Reid asked.

"No, no," Emily said, shaking her head with false certainty. "I'm sure he didn't. He's just being Morgan."

"I told you we should've parked a couple of blocks away."

"How was I supposed to know that he'd arrive at the exact same time as us?"

"Well-"

"Look, we need to get inside and get started on this case," Emily told him. "We're reading too much into what Morgan said, that's all."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right."

But as the two agents followed their friend and team-mate into the building, Reid had a sinking feeling that there was more to what Morgan said than either of them cared to admit.


	7. Chapter 7

Reid and Emily were the last to enter the roundtable room. Despite their efforts to act nonchalant, they walked in almost guiltily, like teenagers late for school. Morgan, having just arrived, raised his eyebrows at them as he put down his bags. Rossi lifted a hand in greeting from the table where he sat beside Hotch, who simply looked on with steely eyes. JJ stood before them all, remote in hand, and gave the two of them a tight-lipped smile. As Reid and Emily took their seats and their case files, Hotch brought them all to attention.

"Now that we're all here," he said, looking pointedly at the two of them. "Let's get started."

Reid cringed internally at Hotch's apparent irritation with him and Emily. Was he berating them for being the last two to arrive? Couldn't be. It's not like they were late. Maybe, and he hoped with every fiber of his being that this wasn't the case, Hotch was detecting the same thing that Morgan had detected outside. Then, there was always the possibility that Reid was being too paranoid, taking Morgan's attitude and Hotch's frowns more seriously than he ought to. Reid chose to go with this last option, as it was the most helpful if he wanted to put all his focus on the case.

As Reid began flipping through his case file, Hotch turned and gave a nod to JJ, who nodded back. She pressed a button on her remote and a picture of a woman's face appeared on the screen.

"This is 35-year-old Elizabeth Bunting," JJ began. "She was abducted two days ago in Detroit. Last night, a jogger found her in a park with her throat slashed."

JJ pressed the button again and the woman's face was replaced by a picture of her entire body splayed out underneath a tree, a bloody gash around her neck.

"Elizabeth is the fourth victim in the past five years," JJ said as three more pictures of dead women joined Elizabeth's on the screen. "28-year-old Andrea Doe and 32-year-old Moira Gable were also found in Detroit parks with their throats cut. The second most recent victim, Nadine Woods, was found only two weeks ago."

"He's devolving," Reid remarked.

"Hold on," Morgan interrupted. "Four Detroit women with slit throats in the past five years? It's pretty vague. How do we know it's the same UnSub?"

"The M.O. is identical in all four murders," JJ explained. "The women were dumped in parks with their throats freshly cut two days after their abduction. There are no signs of struggle on their bodies apart from ligature marks on their wrists."

"Okay, so say it is the same guy," Morgan said. "It's a pretty low body count over such a long timeframe."

"This guy is controlled," Rossi answered. "He can live off each murder for a long time before feeling compelled to commit another one."

"Not anymore," Emily said. "He's killed twice in the past two weeks. It's getting harder for him to resist his urges."

Although Emily was talking about a serial killer, Reid couldn't help smirking at her choice of words. He quickly realized that he was being inappropriate, however, and hastened to add to the discussion. "The fact that the victim's bodies show no signs of struggle indicates that they might've known their attacker and willingly gone with him," he hypothesized.

"If that's true, we'll need to find what these women have in common," Emily said.

"That's the other thing," JJ added. "They're all single mothers."

At this, the team went quiet and looked at each other knowingly. If they weren't sure about the case before, they were now. Detroit had a serial killer.

"Wheels up in twenty," Hotch said.

And they were off. The whirlwind had begun again, like so many times before. This time was slightly different, though. On no other occasion had Reid received a secret smile from Emily as they left the roundtable room. On no other occasion had she offered a steadying hand as he shakily boarded the jet. The cases would blend together for all eternity, some making more impact than others, but for now, Reid had an added bonus, and she was sitting beside him when the plane took off.

**BREAK**

Reid sat hunched on the edge of the bed in his hotel room, his hands clasped in his lap, one of his heels bouncing up and down. It had been a long and taxing day, and he was struggling. Struggling to stay focused, struggling to ignore the pain in his head, struggling to shove certain thoughts that had begun to appear to the back of his mind. Alone in his hotel room, Reid was going to the dark places he'd promised himself he wouldn't go to now that he had Emily. He thought of his mother, and of the fact that he was probably going to have to find a new home for her. He thought of what would happen if the team found out about his and Emily's fraternization. He thought of Dilaudid, because although he had promised himself and Emily that he wouldn't take it again, the cravings were inevitable and he couldn't stop them. He had been expecting all of these thoughts and cravings, of course. He knew that his problems wouldn't disappear just because he had Emily. They were still there, waiting to be worked through, and it wasn't going to be easy. But he didn't have to go through it alone. It was for this reason that, against his better judgement, Reid got up from his bed and tiptoed out the door and across the hall to Emily's room.

"Emily," he whispered, knocking gently on her door.

After a few moments, the door opened slightly and she stuck her head out. She looked down the hall both ways before grabbing Reid by his shirt and forcefully tugging him inside her room.

"What was that for?" Reid asked as Emily shut the door.

"We have to be careful, Reid," Emily said. "If anyone sees us going to and from each other's hotel rooms, especially this late at night, they're gonna start asking questions."

"You're right, I'm sorry," Reid apologized. "I just… I really need to talk to you."

"What's wrong?"

"There's, uh… There's a lot going on in my head right now," Reid began.

Emily nodded to herself, almost as if she had been expecting this.

"Come sit down," she offered.

She walked to the other side of the room and sat down on her bed, propping herself up with a pillow. Reid followed suit and sat opposite her, crossing his legs underneath him like an obedient kindergartener. Emily took both of his hands in hers and squeezed them.

"Go ahead," she said softly.

And he did. He told her that he was worried about his mother's health due to her most recent outbursts. He told her that he felt pressured to find her a new place to live. He told her about his fears regarding their new relationship and what would happen if they were found out. His job was more important to him than almost anything else, but he didn't know what would happen to him if he lost her. Finally, he told her that he was still reeling from the previous night and that he didn't feel that he could do his job properly. He was of two minds about his self-destructive spree. If it hadn't happened, he would be in a better condition to focus on the case. He would not, however, be with Emily. He wasn't sure whether or not to feel regretful.

"I'm confident that you'll do the right thing for your mother, Reid," Emily told him. "You're a good son. You know what's best for her. As for last night, there's no point in regretting it. I think all you can do is be grateful for the good things that happened, and learn from the mistakes."

"What about us?" Reid asked.

"We'll just take it day by day," she said, after a moment's pause.

Reid looked at Emily fearfully. What was she saying? That their relationship wasn't long for this world? That she didn't expect it to last?

"Hey," she smiled, placing her hands on either side of his face and stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. "Think of it like this. Every moment that we get to spend together is a gift. Because of our career demands, those moments might get cut short, but that doesn't make them mean any less."

"I don't want our moments to be cut short," Reid said quietly.

"Well, I'm willing to fight for us if you are."

Those were the words Reid needed to hear. He gazed at Emily, thinking for the millionth time how fortunate he was to be with her.

"Thank you," he croaked.

Her hands still on his face, Emily drew Reid towards her and gave him a gentle kiss. When she pulled away, however, there was something different about her expression. She looked at Reid somewhat warily.

"There's something else, isn't there?" she asked him.

Reid flinched. Emily had the innate ability to sense everything that went on in his head. For a moment, he wondered how she did that. Then he remembered what she did for a living and felt a bit stupid. He sighed and began to play absent-mindedly with the loose threads on the mattress.

"I've seen that look on your face before, Reid," Emily reminded him softly. "You're craving, aren't you?"

That sure didn't take long. Reid continued pulling threads, unable to look directly at her.

"There's no reason to be ashamed," Emily continued. "Reid, it was bound to happen after last night. You may be a genius, but you aren't immune when it comes to this."

He shot a sheepish glance in her direction.

"Okay," she said. "If you don't want to talk about it right now, I understand, but I'm here when you're ready. Or if you need a distraction."

Reid was in his own little world, not quite paying attention to what Emily was saying. His mind had drifted to what would happen later that evening when he tried to go to sleep. He envisioned a restless night of tossing and turning in his uncomfortable bed, which was not conducive to focus and concentration at work the next day. "Can I sleep with you tonight?" he inquired abruptly, eliciting a look of complete shock from Emily.

"Uh, I don't know if we should-" she began.

"No, no, I didn't mean- I just thought maybe…" Reid felt like kicking himself. Couldn't he have expressed the question slightly differently? "I would sleep better beside you, that's all."

"Oh," Emily breathed, her cheeks turning slightly red. "Of course, Reid. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed-"

"No, don't worry about it. Bad phrasing on my part."

"It's fine."

Now what? He and Emily sat on the bed together, looking at each other somewhat expectantly, the red tinge fading from her cheeks. In the back of his head, Reid found himself wondering how many times he had seen Emily blush before. Not very many, it seemed. She wasn't the blushing type of woman. He then realized that he was getting distracted and forced himself to focus on the situation at hand. Emily had accepted his request to spend the night. What was he supposed to do next? Get into his pajamas? Brush his teeth?

"I'll be right back," he told her. "I'm gonna get ready for bed."

"Okay," Emily nodded at him.

With one last awkward smile, Reid got up from the bed and left Emily's room, his legs feeling unfortunately jelly-like. He made sure nobody was outside before darting across the hall into his own room, whipping himself out of his clothes and into a pair of white flannel pajamas and giving his teeth a thorough brush. He barely had time to be grateful for the fact that he didn't bring his Star Trek pajamas to Detroit before he was back across the hall, softly tapping at her door. When she opened it, she was wearing a blue pajama top and matching shorts. She quickly ushered him back in and brought him over to the bed.

"I set the alarm an hour early so that you have time to go back to your hotel room in the morning, before everyone else wakes up," Emily advised Reid, climbing under the covers.

"Oh, good idea," Reid said, climbing in after her.

"Thanks," Emily replied lightly. "Should I turn off the light?"

Reid was about to tell her to go ahead, but something told him not to. Instead, he followed a strange and sudden impulse. It told him to say, "Not just yet," and to place a hand on her waist, scooping her towards him. It told him to kiss her, not too forcefully, but not softly, either. He felt her lips smile against his as she kissed him back, felt her hand land on his cheek and lovingly brush his hair back behind his ear. After a few seconds, he pulled away.

"Now you can turn off the light," he told her.

Emily opened her eyes and stared at him in amazement. She opened her mouth to say something, then shut it again and smiled to herself before turning and flicking the switch on the lamp beside the bed. Everything went dark except for the faint shadow of a figure beside Reid, shifting closer to him to lay her head on his chest. Reid cuddled in closer as well, slipping an arm around her shoulder. He felt much better than he had an hour earlier. Not perfect, mind you, but better. It was a good start. He leaned over and kissed Emily on both eyelids before shutting his eyes and going to sleep.

**BREAK **

The next morning went according to plan, for the most part. When the alarm went off, Reid woke up and went back to his hotel room, though not without his fair share of morning kisses from Emily, who stayed in bed. Just because Reid had to go back to his hotel room didn't mean that she had to get up too, and she was not about to miss any sleep. Perhaps if she had roused herself along with Reid, however, she might have reminded him to make sure the coast was clear before going across the hall. As it was, Reid had nobody to tell him not to simply open the door and walk right out, which is what he did. Reid was still very sleepy, and not quite thinking straight, which is why he didn't check his surroundings. If he had, he would've seen Morgan making his way out of his own hotel room a few doors down, coffee in hand. In any case, Morgan definitely saw Reid. He saw Doctor Spencer Reid doing the walk of shame from Emily Prentiss' hotel room back to his own, in all his flannel pajama-wearing glory.


	8. Chapter 8

The next evening, the team was working in and around the Detroit Police Department. Rossi and JJ were talking to the press outside with Detective Clement, who was running point. Reid, Prentiss, Morgan and Hotch were inside, brainstorming in front of the evidence board when Morgan's cell went off.

"It's Garcia," he told the group as he answered the call. "Hey, baby girl, you're on speaker."

"Okay," the technical analyst began. "So, I did what you said and I checked the histories of the victims. Turns out, all four of them belonged to the same single parents' support group at one point or another."

"That can't be a coincidence," Emily stated.

"You're right," Reid said. "That must be how the UnSub is meeting his victims. He's a part of the group."

"Not just a part of the group," Morgan postulated. "These murders have been happening for the past five years. The UnSub would have to be someone who has been with the group for at least that long. The women would have to trust him enough to go with him willingly. If you were part of a support group, who would you trust the most?"

Emily's eyes widened in realization. "The leader."

"Garcia, you lead a support group, right?" Hotch asked.

"Yes, sir."

"Do you ever spend extracurricular time with the members of your group?"

"Yeah, I do."

"So, the leader targets his victims through the group, gets to know them and then abducts them?" Morgan said. "When members of the group turn up dead, wouldn't the other members get a bit suspicious?"

"Not necessarily," Reid told them. "The murders are far enough apart and support group members are transient enough for there to be little to no apprehension regarding the victims' deaths."

"Garcia, what can you get us on the leader of the support group?" Hotch demanded.

The sound of typing filled the room for a moment before Garcia spoke again.

"His name is Samuel Hall. He's been the leader of the group for six years. When he was eight years old, his parents divorced, his mom got custody of him, and… Oh, that is _so _sad."

"What, Garcia?" Hotch urged her.

"Well, to say that Samuel had a tough childhood would be putting it lightly. His mom was mondo abusive, as in 'Hi, my name is Linda Hall and my son was admitted to the emergency room fifteen times by the age of eleven' abusive."

"Great parenting," Emily deadpanned.

Reid raised his eyebrows at her in agreement.

"Word," Garcia said. "Anyway, he was taken out of his mother's custody when he was twelve and went back to live with his dad, who was apparently a great guy that just couldn't afford a lawyer."

"This has gotta be our guy," Morgan insisted. "He's murdering single mothers that remind him of his traumatic childhood."

"It's a possibility," Hotch said. "He definitely has deep-seated anger towards his mother, but it seems like his childhood progressed normally after he was taken out of her custody."

"Well, something about these women is triggering him."

"What's his address, Garcia?" Hotch asked.

"809 Fir Street, sir, but I can guarantee you that he won't be there right now."

"Why not?"

"Because the support group is gathering in, like, half an hour."

The team checked their watches. It was almost seven. Things had just gotten a lot more serious.

"Where do they meet, Garcia?" Hotch practically barked.

"At the Crowell Community Center, sir."

"Thanks, mama," Morgan said, hanging up the phone.

"What about the Crowell Community Center?" a voice asked from the doorway. It was Detective Clement, just back from the press conference with Rossi and JJ.

"We believe our UnSub may be the leader of a single parents' support group that is meeting there in half an hour," Reid told them.

"Well, the community center is only a few blocks away," Detective Clement revealed. "I'll take you guys there."

"Hold on," Rossi interrupted. "Let me get this straight. We're barging into a support group meeting and making an arrest? Do we even have probable cause?"

"Dave's right," Hotch agreed. "We need a strategy."

"What if we sent in Emily?" Rossi suggested. "She's his type. We could give her a story that would trigger him and see how he takes it."

Reid's heart stopped. He did not like the sound of that idea in the slightest. Emily had been sent undercover many times before, and she almost always ended up getting hurt in some way. The fact that something awful might happen to her turned his blood to ice.

"How about it, Prentiss?" Morgan asked.

"I'm game," Emily said with an enthusiastic bob of her head.

"Uh, wouldn't that be a bit dangerous?" Reid tried.

His question was met by looks of skepticism from every person in the room, except for Emily, who widened her eyes at him and shook her head ever so slightly, so that only he could see.

"It's no more dangerous than most of the things we do, Spence," JJ said.

"I-I know, but isn't there a better option? One that doesn't involve putting a team member at risk?"

"Reid, Prentiss can handle it," Hotch told him.

"I can handle it, Reid," Emily said sharply.

"And if something goes wrong?" Reid argued, determined to change their minds in whatever way possible.

"That is always a possibility," Hotch replied. "Reid, we do this job knowing that something could go wrong at any moment. We do our best to prevent it, but it is the reality. You know that. Now, are you going to help us, or not?"

Reid looked across at Emily for a moment, who silently mouthed the words, "Reid, please."

"There has to be some sort of alternative," he maintained.

The tension in the room at this point was so thick that Reid could taste it. Emily shook her head in exasperation, her mouth a tight line. Hotch had broken a record with the stern expression he was wearing. JJ seemed confused and Rossi wore his usual expression of vague interest. Morgan, however, had something different on his face. Something Reid couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Excuse us for a moment, Hotch," Morgan said, walking over to Reid and grabbing his arm. Much to his own chagrin, Reid let himself be dragged out of the room by his fellow agent.

Once they were in the hallway, out of earshot of everyone else, Morgan let go of Reid's arm and turned to face him.

"What is going on with you, man?" Morgan began. "Have you completely forgotten how to do your job?"

"Not at all! I just don't think we should be putting a member of our team in harm's way."

"It is not up to you," Morgan reproached him. "We are constantly being put in harm's way! I didn't hear you complaining when Emily went into that house in Milwaukee."

"She ended up getting hit in the head with a piece of wood, Morgan," Reid reminded him. "She was almost shot."

"That's not the point. I'm just saying that we gotta do what we gotta do to get the job done. Yours is not to reason why."

"It is when someone could get seriously hurt!"

"No, not just someone, Reid. Emily."

At Morgan's last word, Reid froze solid, a kernel of fear growing in the pit of his stomach.

"What do you mean?" he asked in a small voice.

"I know what's going on between the two of you."

"What do you mean?" Reid repeated, as the kernel doubled in size.

"Come on. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You show up to work in the same car. You're coming out of each other's hotel rooms in the morning. I'm not naïve, Reid. You and Emily are sleeping together, though for the life of me, I can't imagine why!"

Reid felt as if someone had taken an icepick to his frozen body, breaking him into a million tiny pieces. He was right to have been paranoid. Morgan had known about the two of them all along and he was here to ruin the only thing that made life bearable.

"We're not sleeping together," Reid objected lifelessly. "That is to say, we haven't… yet."

Upon seeing Reid's complete and sudden deflation, Morgan seemed to hesitate for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice took on a much softer and kinder tone.

"Listen, man," he said. "I don't need to know the details and I'm not gonna try to understand why it is you've been doing what you've been doing. But as your friend and as your teammate, I am telling you that the two of you are making a big mistake. I don't think you can be objective when it comes to Emily."

"Then let me prove to you that I can," Reid pled.

Morgan shook his head. "Emily's good at compartmentalizing, Reid. You're not. She knows the difference between work and her personal life. From what I just saw, you don't. There's nothing to prove, and to try and do so would be unprofessional."

"But the feelings I have for Emily aren't going to go away. Even if we stopped seeing each other, I would be paralyzed every time she was put in danger."

"It's normal to be afraid," Morgan sighed. "I understand that perfectly, believe you me. But there's a difference between being concerned for a friend's well-being and letting your feelings get the better of you."

For once in his life, Reid was speechless. He couldn't think of a single thing to say, probably because deep down, he knew Morgan was right and didn't want to admit it. He just stared at his friend with wide, beseeching eyes, hoping against hope that he would wake up from this nightmare any second and find himself in bed, next to Emily.

"Well, speak of the devil," Morgan said, looking just past Reid's shoulder. "I'll leave you two to talk."

As Morgan walked away, Reid turned around to see Emily standing in the hallway. Her face told him everything he needed to know. She looked at him with a deeply sad smile.

"I can't lose you," Reid said immediately, the tightness of his voice surprising him.

"Reid, I'll be fine."

"That's not what I mean."

Emily faltered for a moment. Her eyes turned to the floor as she bit her lip. "I know," she said quietly.

"Emily, I…" Reid tried, before realizing that he really had nothing to say.

She returned her gaze to him. They both stared at each other for one long moment, their eyes saying everything words could have and more. Reid felt his love for her in every cell of his body, struggling to be expressed in some way. He felt it beating in his chest, churning in his stomach. He felt it beginning to brim in his eyes. He let his gaze fall away before it could spill down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Reid," she finally got out, though they both knew her words were pointless. "But this isn't working. We need to take a break and straighten out our priorities."

"Morgan thinks I can't be objective when it comes to you," Reid told her.

"Yeah, he's probably right," Emily admitted.

"I can try, though. We can forget about what just happened and… Emily, please. We promised each other we were going to fight to make this work."

"In case anybody found out about us, yes, but that's not what this is about. The outburst you just had jeopardized not only our relationship, but the case, as well. If you're going to object every time I'm put into the field, we cannot do this."

Reid was treading water. He had to grasp onto something in order to stay afloat. He reached out for the first thing that swam by, the only thing that was left, the only thing that mattered. "But I love you."

Emily looked absolutely astounded for a split second before gathering her composure as quickly as she had lost it. She seemed to flip a switch lodged somewhere inside her that turned her mind from personal matters straight to professional matters.

"We should wait to figure this out until we get home," she muttered stonily. "Right now, we have a case to deal with. The rest of us are about to leave for the community center. Are you coming?"

Reid stood agape at the sudden change in her. He had told her he loved her for the first time, and she hadn't so much as batted an eyelash. He was reminded of the first night she had visited his hotel room, when she had gone from eagerly kissing him to leaving as fast as she possibly could. Two can play at that game, Reid thought to himself.

"Yes," he replied, just as aloofly.

Reid thought he saw a hint of sorrow on Emily's face before she nodded and turned to go. He followed her, swallowing his misery as best he could. He was determined to prove how objective he could be, as his lack of professionalism was the only thing standing between him and Emily. Reid tried to stay objective as they followed Detective Clement to the community center, even though he had begun to sweat. He tried to stay objective as they gave Emily a wire and a story to tell at the meeting, even though adrenaline was shooting through his veins. And he tried to stay objective as Emily jogged across the parking lot and through the doors of the building, even though his heart was in his throat. He thought objective thoughts, but his body betrayed his mind, proving what he really felt. Terror.


	9. Chapter 9

**Second last chapter, you guys! This will be a juicy one. Thanks for sticking with me through my first fanfic! Things are about to get good. Please read and review!**

It was seven-thirty, on the dot, and the team was gathered in a surveillance van. The support group meeting had just started and the agents were listening intently to Emily's wire through their headphones, some more anxiously than others. To tell the truth, Reid was the only anxious one. As he looked around the van, his teammates' faces showed only determination and focus. Although he tried to emulate those feelings on his own face, to prove his objectivity, he had the feeling that he looked like a young child stuck in the headlights of an oncoming truck. Despite his nerves, however, Reid was paying attention to every word of the meeting. He didn't want to miss a single detail, in case something happened that required quick thinking or action. Every cell in his body was prepared, though for what, he didn't know, and didn't want to find out.

"Before we start, I just want to address something we're probably all thinking about," someone, probably Samuel Hall, began. "I know a lot of you are shaken up by Elizabeth's death, and I just wanted to let you all know that I'm available if any of you want to talk things through."

"Notice his wording," Rossi remarked. "He said, 'A lot of _you_ are shaken up by Elizabeth's death'. He didn't say 'us', he said 'you'."

"He didn't include himself in his own statement," Hotch agreed, as the team leader went on about grief counselling.

Reid shook his head in the hopes of clearing it so that he could make similar observations and feel useful, but it was all he could do not to jump out of the van, run into the community center, and drag Emily out. He tried to turn his mind to Samuel's words.

"Now, as always, we've gained a few new faces, and lost a few old ones," he continued. "Those of us who are veterans of this group can begin and show our new members how it's done. Valerie, would you like to begin?"

The team listened as, one by one, the members of the support group talked about their lives, how they were coping, and so on. Every time somebody finished speaking, Reid's stomach clenched, thinking Emily might be next, but invariably, another man or woman would pick up where the last one left off. The stories ranged from fathers whose wives or girlfriends ran off with other men, to mothers whose husbands died tragically, but there was nothing in any of them that Reid thought could trigger the UnSub. No, the time would come for that when Emily began to speak. Just as this thought came to Reid's mind, a voice over the wire made his heart stop.

"Hi, I'm Lauren," Emily said without missing a beat.

"Hello, Lauren," the group responded.

Hotch signaled for everyone to pay close attention.

"Uh, I guess everything started about six years ago, when my boyfriend got me pregnant," she said coldly. "We'd been going out for a couple of years at that point. I, uh, still don't really know how it happened. We used practically every method of protection there was, 'cause neither of us wanted anything to do with kids."

Reid felt oddly uncomfortable listening to Emily tell this made-up story. It was almost as if he was invading her privacy, eaves-dropping on something he wasn't meant to hear. He had to remind himself that he was doing his job to get the squeamish feeling inside him to subside.

"Anyway," Emily continued. "When I found out, I told him the news, he told me what I wanted to hear, and next thing I knew, he was on a train out of town. A few months later, I had Devon and my life has been a mess ever since."

"Why do you say that, Lauren?" Samuel asked.

"Well, I wasn't ready to have a child. I'm still not," Emily replied bitterly. "I wasn't done living my life, and now I have to take responsibility for someone else's. It's not fair to me."

"Have you thought about what's fair to your child?"

Emily seemed to hesitate for a moment. Somebody coughed violently in the background. Finally, she said, "Look. I'm not here to talk about what would make life easier for Devon. I'm here to talk about what would make life easier for me. This is a _parents' _support group, right?"

Discontented murmurs sounded throughout the group. In the van, the team shot each other glances. Hotch nodded. He was obviously pleased with Emily's progress so far. Somewhere in the very back of his head, behind the fear that it might get her in trouble, Reid was also impressed by Emily's aptitude for undercover work.

"Well, it seems like we have a lot to talk about, Lauren," Samuel continued. "Unfortunately, we're almost out of time, but why don't you stick around for a few minutes after the meeting so that we can further discuss your situation?"

Reid gasped before he could stop himself, trying to pass it off as a sudden and short-lived coughing fit (and failing, if the looks he received from his team members were any indication). They heard Emily's strained "Sure", and everyone sprang into action.

"If he's about to try and abduct her, his cooling off period just got a hell of a lot shorter," Morgan stated, as Samuel delivered some sort of closing speech, and the low hum of chatter sounded throughout the room.

The seconds stretched into minutes as the group members gathered their things and left. Reid could see them from the van, walking out the doors on the far side of the building. Finally, there was only silence coming from Emily's end, and after what felt like ages to Reid, the team heard a voice.

"Well, now, Lauren," Samuel started. "You seem to have a lot on your plate right now. There's no easy way to deal with what you're going through, but coming to this support group is a good start. I do hope you return next week. I'd like to help you build a solid relationship with your boy. Although I've never met him, I can safely say that he deserves his mother's attention."

"Right," Emily said, sounding a bit lost.

"Mind you, it's absolutely alright if you decide not to come back. I understand this kind of group isn't for everyone. It's up to you."

After a slight pause, Emily stuttered, "O-okay, I'll think about it. Thanks."

"Have a good night now," Samuel offered.

They heard his footsteps trailing away. After a few moments, Emily spoke.

"He's gone," she whispered.

Reid breathed a sigh of relief as they saw him exit the building, and Emily's words were proven true. Samuel got into a nearby car and drove away, leaving the parking lot completely empty of human activity, and almost empty of cars.

"Something's not right," she continued. "I don't think Samuel Hall is our guy. If he were the UnSub, he wouldn't give me the option of not coming back next week. That would be too risky for him. This man seems genuine and sincere. He seemed to truly care about my son getting the attention he deserved. We've got to be missing something. Maybe-"

Just then, she was cut off by a sudden and noisy thump, startling the team.

"What was that?" JJ gasped.

"Hold on," Rossi urged. "Listen."

They listened, straining their ears for any sign from Emily. Nothing came. Silence filled the van.

"Oh, god," Reid said, his words barely audible as his worst nightmare threatened to come true.

"Let's move in," Hotch ordered, sliding open the door of the van.

Everyone leapt out, guns at the ready. They ran through the empty parking lot, around the side of the building and through the doors of the community centre. An alarmed receptionist, seemingly packing up to go home, jumped when she saw them.

"Where is the single parents' support group meeting held?" Hotch barked at her.

"Uh, Room 3A, down the hall," she squeaked. "But it'll be over by now—"

They didn't wait to hear the end of her sentence. With Hotch leading the way, the five of them dashed down the hall, skidding to a halt in front of Room 3A. The door was wide open. Hotch and Morgan entered the room first, followed by JJ and Rossi. Reid stayed in the doorway, looking both ways down the hall to make sure there was nobody there before setting foot in the room himself. As he did so, his body stiffened. There was no Emily, no UnSub, no sign of anything having happened at all. It was then that he spotted the small, yet disconcerting pool of blood on the floor.

"Clear," Hotch said, the other agents echoing the same word back to him. Their voices seemed a million miles away to Reid. He might as well have been on the opposite side of the world as he approached the scarlet patch on the ground. His logical side was overcome for a moment by his emotions as he willed the offending puddle to be a figment of his imagination. It was not his imagination, however. It was a very real, very slick pool of what was probably Emily Prentiss' blood. And it didn't stop there. It trailed off to a door on the other side of the room.

"Guys," he croaked, his eyes fixed on the door.

One by one, JJ, Morgan, Hotch and Rossi looked to where he was standing, saw the puddle on the floor, and followed his gaze to the door. Without saying a word, Hotch pointed to it and beckoned the rest of the team over with a wave of his hand. Reid's heart began to pound and his palms began to sweat as the five of them congregated around the door. Hotch gave a sharp nod to Morgan, who kicked it with all his might. It swung open violently to reveal the other side of the parking lot. In the parking lot was one sole pickup truck. And being shoved into the pickup truck was an unconscious Emily Prentiss.


	10. Chapter 10

**Last chapter of my first fic! What do you guys think? Should I write more? If I do write another one, I promise I'll write most of it before I start posting so that the chapters get updated more regularly than this one did… Anyway, enjoy the ending, and please leave a review! Any and all similarities to any recent CM episodes are purely, weirdly and annoyingly coincidental. I've had every chapter of my fic planned out in great detail since April/May.**

"Emily!" Reid cried out before he could stop himself. He didn't care how it made him sound. He didn't care about anything except the fact that Emily Prentiss was out cold and in the back of somebody's pickup truck. Somebody who was now in the driver's seat, starting the car, and beginning to drive away.

For a split second, all of Reid's knowledge and experience dropped out of his head. He was at a complete loss, trying to remember whether he had ever done this job before, when he saw that his teammates were running. Half of them were running away from the truck, and half of them were running towards it. Not stopping to take count, Reid followed his gut and bolted towards the truck after Morgan and JJ, who were firing bullets at the tires, and yelling, "Stop! FBI!" as if it would make a difference. It didn't. As quickly as they had discovered the truck, it was gone and all seemed lost.

"Goddamn it!" Morgan hollered, stomping his foot, as they were in an empty parking lot and there was nothing to punch or kick down. "Did anyone get a look at the license plate?"

"Yeah, uh, I got a partial," JJ said in a trembling voice, obviously shaken. "I think the first three letters were, uh, GFA?"

Just then, Hotch and Rossi pulled up in the van.

"Get in," Hotch called out the open window. They didn't have to be told twice. JJ, Morgan and Reid leapt in the vehicle, and they were off.

"Which way did they go?" Hotch asked immediately.

"The truck turned left up here," Morgan replied. "But we lost sight of it after that."

"JJ got a partial on the plate, though," Reid interjected, feeling the need to say something, anything that could be construed as even slightly helpful.

"Yeah, GFA," JJ said.

"Good. Morgan," Hotch ordered. "Call Garcia. Ask her to cross-reference male support group members that have been in the group at least five years with licence plates containing the letters GFA. We have to rethink everything now that we know Samuel Hall isn't our UnSub."

"I'm on it," Morgan said, whipping out his phone.

Rethink everything. They needed to rethink everything. Reid was so beyond thinking in general that he couldn't quite wrap his mind around _re_thinking, but he knew that if the team were to rescue Emily, he needed to give his all. He needed to be there, one hundred and fifty percent. So even though the pressure was on as it had never been before, even though the woman he loved was in mortal danger, even though he had every reason to be completely distracted, useless, and distraught, he made a decision. He took a breath and closed his eyes. He focused deep inside himself and made the most objective choice he could. The choice he knew was most likely to get Emily out of her situation alive. He decided to pretend she was somebody else. A subconscious part of him shoved all of his feelings for her aside, along with all his worries, pains, cravings and anything else that would divert his attention from saving her. He opened his eyes, ready to tackle the task at hand, just in time to hear Garcia mumbling something from Morgan's phone.

"…three people, only one of whom has a plate containing GFA. His name is Lyle Cavanaugh, he went through a very messy divorce five years ago, and his apparently irresponsible ex-wife ended up taking custody of his son, Kevin. Is that helpful?"

"Dig deeper, Garcia," Morgan asked her, concern slicing through his usually confident tone of voice.

"Okay, digging, digging…" Garcia continued, her concern through the roof, if her voice was any indication. "Here we go. Lyle's parents were also divorced when he was a child and… Oh, wow. Why couldn't I have found this before? If I had found this before, everything would've made sense, we wouldn't have wasted our time on Samuel Hall, and we could've just— Emily wouldn't be—"

"Garcia, what is it?" Morgan demanded.

"When Lyle Cavanaugh's parents divorced, he was put into the custody of _his _irresponsible _mother_," she finished. "All I'll say is that she was a long way away from winning any parenting awards… A dozen broken bones, a few crushed ribs and one terrible childhood away."

"There's our stressor," Rossi said. "When the same event that ruined Lyle's life ruined the life of his son, it was enough to make him want to murder any woman who reminded him of his mother or ex-wife."

"And he used the support group to do it," Morgan finished.

"Emily's story was definitely a trigger for him," Reid piped up, piecing everything together. "But because she was focused on Samuel Hall, Lyle wasn't on her radar. He must've stayed behind after everyone had left, planning to abduct her…"

"But when he heard her talking to us through the wire, he realized that she wasn't an unfit single mother at all," JJ carried on.

"She was an FBI agent who knew too much," Reid concluded, almost proudly, before the guilt of remembering who he was talking about threatened to swallow him whole. Once again, he shoved images of a suffering Emily out of his mind and replaced them with stock images of random victims, as if this were just another day on the job.

"We need an address, Garcia," Hotch said.

"150 Brock Avenue," Garcia told them. "You're five blocks away. Now go get our girl back!"

Reid's mind swapped out the words 'our girl' with the less personal 'that girl' as the van took a sharp right turn and everyone was thrown violently to the left. Hotch sped through the busy Detroit streets for a couple of minutes until they reached the fairly quiet Brock Avenue, at which point they squealed to a halt in front of an old, ramshackle two-story house. 150 Brock Avenue. The pickup truck was even parked in the driveway. It served as a slightly askew sign that they were in the right place. Everyone jumped out of the van before it had even come to a full stop, Hotch leaping out without taking the keys out of the ignition.

"Morgan, you're with me. Dave, you go around the back," Hotch said. "JJ, stay here with Reid."

Reid, who had his gun out and was about to run up to the front porch, froze in place, positive he had misheard Hotch's orders. He turned to him.

"Sorry, sir, what did you ask me to do?"

"I told you to stay here with JJ," Hotch repeated. "We all know you can't be objective right now. For you to enter this house could compromise everything. You're going to wait for us out here."

_You can't be objective right now._ How many times had he heard those words, or at least some variation on them, come out of Emily's mouth? Morgan's mouth? How many times had they bounced around his own mind, causing him to feel unprofessional and filling him with guilt? There and then, in the moment that Emily needed him most, Reid could not believe that his least favourite combination of words was being thrown at him by his team leader.

"Sir, I—"

"There's no time to argue, Reid," Hotch said sharply. "Prentiss needs us."

"Hotch, please—"

"Reid!" Morgan interjected. "Let it go. This is not the time."

At Morgan's words, a wave of betrayal washed over Reid before he knew why. A split-second afterwards, a second wave of realization crashed into him, almost knocking him backwards. What were Hotch's exact words? _We all know you can't be objective right now._ He looked around at his teammates, all of whom were looking at him with a mixture of condescension and disapproval. They all knew. And who was the only one who could have snitched? Reid's eyes locked with Morgan's.

"You told them?" he asked incredulously. "Morgan, I trusted you!"

"Come on, man," Morgan shot back. "Your personal life can wait! You out of all people should be shutting up and letting us save Emily."

"No, I should be in there saving her with you!" Reid retorted.

"Reid, give me your gun," Hotch said.

Reid turned back to Hotch. "What?"

"You heard me. Your gun. Now."

Reid looked at Hotch in disbelief for a moment before an image of a pale, bloody Emily lying on a dark, dank floor crept into his mind. That chilling picture was all that was necessary for him to shove his gun into Hotch's hand. Hotch holstered it, and then they were off. Reid watched as his team approached the house, as Morgan kicked down the door, as Rossi went around back. As everyone went to Emily's rescue, except him. And JJ. His babysitter. Reid felt shame as he had never felt it before.

"Trust me, Spence," JJ said in a voice that was probably meant to be comforting. "I wish I was in there just as much as you do."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do," she insisted. "But there's nothing we can do right now that can't be done more efficiently by them."

That was where she was wrong, and Reid knew it. He longed to run into the house and save Emily himself, even if it was a reckless and stupid thing to do. Every instinct he possessed was urging him to move, to help, to do something. And it was then that Reid decided that such strong instincts shouldn't be ignored.

"Speak for yourself," he said before taking off.

"What?" JJ asked. "Spence—"

But it was too late for her. Reid had already bolted across the lawn, up the stairs to the front porch and inside the house. He could hear JJ calling after him, and he assumed she was probably running to catch up, but he didn't care. Emily needed him, and he needed to rescue her or forever regret not having done so.

If the exterior of the house looked dilapidated, it was nothing compared to the interior. Cigarette butts and trails of dirt covered the floor. Some of the walls were smeared with what Reid thought looked like blood, although it was hard to tell, seeing as there were no lights on. To the right of the front hallway, there was a steep, rotting staircase leading to the second floor. Reid approached it, and when he strained to listen, he could hear Hotch and Morgan's low, agitated voices coming from somewhere upstairs. Reid paused to take count. Hotch and Morgan were upstairs, Rossi was probably in the back yard, if there was one, checking for a storm cellar or something that Emily might be hidden in, and JJ's footsteps were sounding on the front porch.

Reid had to think of something, and fast. Hoping to blend into the shadows and escape JJ's view, he backed himself up against the staircase wall, and immediately felt it give way behind him. He stumbled backwards, hitting another, much harder wall. The wall he fell through swung shut, and Reid found himself inside a tiny, dimly lit room with yet another set of stairs that led down to some sort of hidden basement. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Between the scuffling sounds and the muttering coming from below, Reid was willing to bet anything that Emily was down there.

"Lyle Cavanaugh?" he struggled to say, but no sound came out. He swallowed and puffed another couple of breaths. "Lyle Cavanaugh?" he tried again, beginning to walk down the stairs.

"Who's there?" a rough voice shot back.

"My name is Doctor Spencer Reid," Reid said in a voice that was meant to sound confident and in control, but ended up very reminiscent of himself at twelve, trying to talk down the school bully. "I'm with the Behavioural Analysis Unit of the FBI."

"You take one more step, she's dead."

Reid stopped short, and his entire body tightened with fear. "I'm unarmed."

"You expect me to believe that?" Lyle retorted.

"It's the truth," Reid pled. "My gun was taken away."

"What kind of FBI agent gets his gun taken away?" Lyle said, a hint of unnerving amusement in his voice.

Reid took another couple of steps. "The kind that falls in love with a teammate," he quipped, hoping to disarm the man, in more ways than one.

For a moment, there was silence. Then Lyle began to chuckle to himself. "You and- You're… Oh, that is too good. Let me tell you something, my friend. I'm doing you a favour right now. If you let her, this bitch will ruin your life."

"That's not true," Reid said, slowly but surely getting closer to the bottom of the stairs. "She makes life worth living."

"You say that now, but just wait a few years. I guarantee you, Doctor, she'll make you wish you'd never been born. They always do."

"Listen, Lyle, I know you have good reason to think that," Reid began, desperately playing for time. "I know what your mother did to you, and I can't imagine how hard it must've been. I mean, you were just a child. You felt scared and alone. And then for the same thing to happen to your son… It's no wonder you have such negative feelings about women."

At this point, Reid reached the bottom of the staircase and hesitantly turned the corner, putting both his hands up, palms facing out. What he saw chilled him to the core. He could actually feel the colour draining from his face as he took in Emily, who was completely comatose and tied to a chair. Her chest was rising and falling ever so slightly, and blood leaked from a nasty, open wound on the top of her head, dying her hair the sickly colour of wine. Lyle Cavanaugh, a skinny, unshaven creature with the eyes of a wild animal, stood behind her and had a knife against her throat, threatening to break skin. When he saw Reid, he tightened his grip on the knife, and a tiny, red dribble cascaded down Emily's neck.

"Look," Reid said. "No weapon."

Lyle was silent, his eyes untrusting, but as Reid stepped closer to him, he made no move. Just then, there were heavy footsteps upstairs, and Reid heard his name being called by his fellow agents. There was a thick groaning sound as the wall swung open and everyone piled into the miniscule, secret room. JJ must have entered the house just in time to see him accidentally discover it himself.

"Nobody move!" Lyle called. "Anybody moves, I slit her throat! This kid don't got no weapon. I can't say the same for the rest of you pigs."

"Reid, get back!" Hotch yelled.

"I can't do that, Hotch," Reid responded.

"Come on, Reid," Morgan's voice came down.

"Don't do something you'll regret!" Rossi warned him.

"Reid, please," JJ begged.

Reid shut out their voices and concentrated on Emily and Lyle. Words swirled into formation in his mind, and he opened his mouth to let them come out.

"Lyle, you don't have to hurt this woman," he continued. "Her name is Emily Prentiss, and she's nothing like your mother, your ex-wife or any of the women you killed. There's no point in killing her, too."

"No?" Lyle said mockingly.

"No. It would only lead to more trouble for you. The last thing you need right now is the blood of an FBI agent on your hands. She hasn't done anything to you. Let her go."

Lyle simply stared at Reid, unmoving. It was getting harder for Reid to ignore his team's interjections from upstairs. It was time for an ultimatum.

"Okay, Lyle, this can go one of two ways. Either you cooperate and let Emily go right now, or my team comes down here, guns out."

"They do that, I'll kill her."

"And they'll kill you."

"What makes you think I want to spend the rest of my life in a jail cell?"

"So what you're saying is you want to commit suicide by cop… And never see your son again?"

This stopped Lyle in his tracks. Reid could see his grip on the knife loosen ever so slightly. And a good thing, too, because Emily was starting to come around. She winced, and a quiet, pained whimper escaped her lips.

"I haven't seen my son in five years," Lyle whispered. "I'd probably never see him again anyway."

"Not necessarily," Reid told him. "How old is Kevin now?"

"He turns fourteen in a month," Lyle said, a hint of pride showing through the sadness.

"Exactly. He'll be able to make his own decisions really soon. If I were him, I'd want to visit the father I was taken away from."

"He'll never forgive me for what I've done."

Emily's eyelids began to flutter.

"Are you kidding?" Reid asked, feeling sick for what he was about to say. "He'll understand why you did it. I mean, it was all for him, right?"

"Yeah, of-of course"! Lyle said frantically. "I did it all-all of it…It was all for him."

"Then drop the knife, Lyle," Reid implored him. "Let Emily go."

Lyle looked at Reid for a moment. His features seemed to transform from those of a rabid animal to those of a very tired, very sick man. The knife clattered to the floor, and the team rushed down the stairs all at once, flooding into the basement. Reid hurried over to Emily and began untying her. She opened her eyes and looked at him, confusion written all over her face.

"Reid?" she said quietly. "What—"

"Shh. It's okay."

"Lyle Cavanaugh," Hotch began, taking out a pair of handcuffs and slapping them on the murderer's wrists. "You're under arrest for the murders of Andrea Doe, Moira Gable, Nadine Woods and Elizabeth Bunting." Hotch then turned and looked down at Reid with eyes of steel. "We'll discuss this later," he added threateningly. Reid nodded at him, surprised at how much he didn't care that his job was on the line. Emily was out of harm's way. That was the only thing that mattered.

As Hotch marched Lyle upstairs, Reid gave one final tug on the cord, and Emily was free. She tried to get up, but lost her balance, and he rushed to catch her as she staggered out of the chair and into his arms. Rossi was on his cell, calling for paramedics. Morgan and JJ were watching Emily and Reid with relief and a hint of curiosity. Reid disregarded it all and helped Emily up the stairs, through the concealed door in the wall, and out of the house. As soon as the two of them were safe on the grass, Reid pulled her into him and held her as tight as he dared. They trembled in each other's arms as silent, thankful tears rolled down both their cheeks. Eventually it was all too much, and they crumpled to the ground, still holding each other. The sirens rang in the distance, and Reid embraced the woman he loved as if it were the first time, the last time, the only time. If it was up to him, he never would have let go.

**CMBAUCMBAUCMBAUCMBAUCMBAU**

All Reid could see out the window of the jet was darkness. The clouds obscured the moon and the stars, making it seem as though they were flying through a black hole. Although most of his teammates were sleeping, Reid was wide awake. Emily lay asleep beside him, her head stitched and bandaged. Every now and then, she let out a slight moan, pulling fiercely at Reid's heartstrings. All he could do was gently stroke her hair, steering clear of her wounds, and wish for her pain to be over.

Reid looked around the jet at his team. Across from him, Morgan sat with his eyes closed and his headphones on. Beside him was JJ, who was lying underneath a somewhat ratty blue blanket. Rossi had fallen asleep with his glasses on, book in hand. That left Hotch. Although the seat Hotch was in wasn't facing Reid, the scribbling sounds coming from his direction told Reid that his team leader was awake, too, and probably doing paperwork.

Now that Reid had had some time to calm down, and his heart no longer beat at the rate of a rabbit's, he was starting to think about the inevitable consequences of his actions. _We'll discuss this later, _Hotch had assured him. That couldn't be good. Those kinds of assurances were never good. Would he be fired for his rule-breaking? A small part of him almost wished he would, as it would allow him to be with Emily. A larger part of him knew that, in the long run, his duty as an FBI agent was more important than his personal life. Once again, that ugly question popped up in his mind. Emily or his job? He supposed that as long as their relationship lasted, he would have to work to find the balance between the two.

At that point, Hotch turned around in his seat and caught Reid's gaze. The eye contact alone caused Reid's stomach to tie itself in knots. This was it.

"Reid, would you come here, please?" Hotch asked in a low voice, so as not to wake the others.

Reid stood up gently, careful not to disturb Emily, and walked over to the seat opposite Hotch. He sat down, facing the man whose disciplinary actions would determine everything.

"We need to talk about your future with this team," Hotch began.

"I know."

"Your recent behaviour has been inappropriate and reckless. You've broken fraternization rules, you compromised a case because of personal matters, and you deliberately disobeyed orders. Not to mention the fact that you've been distracted on the job."

Reid hung his head as Hotch carried on.

"Do you understand that you jeopardized your life in there? That you jeopardized everyone's life, particularly Emily's?"

"Yes, sir," Reid said.

"I should ask for your gun and badge right now," Hotch told him.

"You already have my gun, sir," Reid said, regretting his words the instant they left his mouth. He looked up, expecting Hotch's usual cold stare. What he saw on Hotch's face, however, surprised him. Was that…? No. It couldn't be. And yet, Reid was sure he saw slight amusement dancing behind Hotch's piercing eyes.

"As your Unit Chief, I should fire you," Hotch continued. "As your friend, I should apologize for not trusting you in the field. Although you went against my commands, you successfully talked down an UnSub without a weapon and saved the life of an agent, even though you had personal ties to her. As your friend, I'm proud of you."

"Th-thank you," Reid stammered, hardly believing Hotch's words.

"Until I have a reason to withdraw it, you have my trust," Hotch said brusquely, turning back to his paperwork. "If you give me a reason to withdraw it again, I will be acting as your Unit Chief, not as your friend. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir." Reid nodded vigorously. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Hotch said, as Reid began to stand. "And Reid?"

Reid hesitated, and sat back down. "Yes?"

Hotch peered around the edge of his seat and looked at Emily's slumbering figure for a moment. Then, he turned back to Reid. "Congratulations," he whispered, eyebrows raised, the beginnings of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

Reid smiled back, almost embarrassed, as Hotch picked up his pen and went back to his file. Tucking his hair behind his ear, Reid rose to his feet again and returned to take his seat. As he gingerly sat down, Emily stirred for a moment, opening her eyes and looking up at him sleepily.

"Hey," she said softly.

"Hello," he replied.

She reached up and brushed his cheek tenderly with the back of her hand before settling down and going back to sleep.

**CMBAUCMBAUCMBAUCMBAUCMBAU**

The music was so loud that Reid could barely hear himself think. But this time, he didn't mind as much. Sitting in a booth next to Emily didn't require much thinking. He felt good, and that was enough. As always, Morgan was on the dance floor, surrounded by beautiful girls. JJ and Garcia were at the bar, having drinks, and Hotch and Rossi were sitting opposite Reid and Emily, glasses of scotch in hand. In the back of Reid's mind, he was conscious of the fact that this was one of the first times his teammates had seen him and Emily in public together, knowing they were involved romantically. Sure enough, every now and then, he could feel eyes on him. He would look up to see Morgan, JJ or Garcia looking at him with curious expressions on their faces. Reid couldn't help but feel a bit pleased. Under the table, he grabbed Emily's hand and squeezed it. She responded by giving him an impish smile, and rubbing her leg against his. Now it was Hotch and Rossi's turn to give them suspicious looks.

"Okay, that's enough sitting," Emily announced, sliding out of the booth and dragging Reid along with her. "Let's dance."

"What?" Reid asked.

"Let's dance!" Emily repeated, pulling him onto the dance floor.

Reid looked at Morgan, who was executing dance moves that didn't seem remotely possible to Reid.

"Uh, Emily, I can't dance… like that," he disclosed. Emily followed his gaze and giggled.

"Nobody's asking you to dance like _that_," she said, taking both of his hands in hers.

Reid followed her lead. He had no idea what he was doing, but it didn't matter. They danced like nobody was watching, spinning around and rocking to the beat of the music. They made up their own steps, occasionally losing their balance, but recovering just in time. Finally, Reid began twirling Emily around and around until she got dizzy and fell right into his arms. As if on cue, a slow song started.

"May I have this dance?" he whispered into her ear in his best impression of an Englishman.

Emily smiled and took his hand. He placed his other hand around her waist as she placed hers on his shoulder, and they began to gently sway back and forth. After a few minutes, she spoke.

"Reid, about what you said the other night…"

Confused and a bit worried, Reid asked, "What?"

Emily looked deep into his eyes. "I love you, too."

The passion her statement made him feel was irrepressible, so he leaned down and kissed her, letting his feelings express themselves through his lips. He didn't care if his team was watching. All he cared about was being next to this indescribably beautiful and complex woman. The storm had passed, and they had made it through to the other side the way he knew they would make it through anything and everything from then on. Together.


End file.
